I’ve Tried To Succeed In Dating But I’m Tired & Over It

I’ve tried really hard and I’ve decided that the benefits of the dating game don’t live up to the time and energy I spend on it. It’s really not all that exciting—my regular life is way more fun. I’m ready to throw in the towel on looking for love.

  1. I’m too old. I don’t get giddy over boys like I used to—I’m more jaded now. I see men as they are, and as we all get older, the pickings are less exciting and way slimmer. I wish that I’d already found my long-term partner. I don’t want to deal with the games.
  2. I’m too busy. I have a lot going on, especially now that I’m transitioning into different lifestyle choices and goals. I have enough to think about without worrying about whether some guy likes me or not or whether we’re going to make it to a second date. I’d rather do my own thing.
  3. I’m too realistic. I used to be a hopeless romantic but life has basically cured me of that. I’d still like to find a wonderful man, but I know it won’t be easy to get what I want. I’m not so sure I’m willing to put in the time to weed through all the duds first. Relationships and dating aren’t easy.
  4. I’m too mature. Regardless of the age of the men I meet, they are still generally a bunch of children. Why is this happening? Maybe that’s the reason they’re still single. I feel more mature and grounded than every man I date and it gets very discouraging.
  5. I’m too impatient. I want what I want and I want it now. It sounds cheesy but I wish my dream guy would just fall into my lap so I could get on with things and stop thinking about it. I’m not good at getting to know someone and feeling out whether he’s right for me. I want love immediately.
  6. I’m too lazy. I’m not lazy in my life, but I don’t feel like I should have to try so hard to meet a good dude. I want it to happen naturally and organically. Maybe that’s super idealistic but it’s what I’ve always wanted. I don’t feel like putting on a song and dance to get some man’s attention.
  7. I’m too selfish. I like my space and my time and my life just the way it is. I get to make all the decisions and call all the shots. I don’t have to compromise with anyone else or change my vision for my life. It’s all me, all the time. Yes, I have all the responsibility too, but it’s worth it.
  8. I’m too over it. I have no time or patience for the BS, and there’s a lot of BS when it comes to dating. I don’t feel like going through guy after guy only to realize all too soon that they’re all a waste of my time. No thanks. I’ll hang out with my friends, work on my own stuff, and live my best life like the boss I am.
  9. I’m too cynical. Don’t judge me—years and years of dating have made me this way! It’s tough not to become cynical when you’ve dealt with a lot of men who didn’t deserve your love and attention. I’ve made many mistakes and I’ve learned from them, but mostly what I’ve learned is that there are a lot of jerks out there.
  10. I’m too tired. I mean this literally. I’m older and I have less energy to divide between everything in my life. I also have more going on than ever before. The combination means that if I have to choose between a restful evening of self-care and going out with a stranger, I’m going to pick the first option.
  11. I’m too focused. I’m making a lot of changes and if I want to be successful in life, I have no time to lose. I need to keep my eye on the prize and dedicate myself to the task at hand: building a viable career and lifestyle for myself. I don’t ever want to have to rely on a guy for financial or mental stability.
  12. I’m too ambitious. I want too many things for myself and my life. Yes, an amazing partner is on the list, but everything else comes before that. That’s just the cherry on top of the happy, busy, productive life I want to make with or without a guy around. I’m not losing out on personal satisfaction to try and catch a dude.
  13. I’m too honest. Frankly, most men aren’t used to a woman as grounded and open as I am. I’m not ashamed of who I am and I won’t hesitate to share my feelings and my thoughts. I don’t care if it makes a guy uncomfortable—I want someone who thinks the same way I do. I am not going to dumb down my personality for anyone.
  14. I’m too unapologetic. I want what I want and I need what I need. I’m always upfront about it and I never try to fool anyone, so I have no patience for men who behave as if they’re all in and then turn and run when things get a little tough. Move along, buddy. That doesn’t work for me.
  15. I’m too happy. The bottom line is that whenever I do actually date, it disrupts the happy and content life I have now. I enjoy being single. I enjoy living alone and doing exactly as I please. It’s pretty wonderful, honestly. It’ll take a really amazing guy to change how I feel and he’s going to have to try much harder than any of these lame duds so far.


A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at amyhorton.net.