When women get together and the cocktails start flowing, it’s really no surprise that sometimes stuff gets a little crazy (and maybe even a bit weird). The truth is there’s nothing like a good night of getting rip-roaring drunk and acting like idiots together. We really are a particular breed when it comes to debauchery and it’s goes beyond the ceremonious holding of the hair ritual that occurs when one of us has a few too many. These are the true confessions of what women do when they’re drunk together and why it’s awesome.
- Bathroom trips require a mandatory sidekick. Why on earth would we want to handle our lady business alone when we can travel in a pack? The bathroom trips are essential to completion of any drunken girls’ night, because the trip alone is a mini party in itself. We re-gloss our lips, hold each other’s purses while we pee, sometimes taking turns in the same stall together, and then reassure each other that we don’t look “too drunk” before we get back to the disaster.
- Face and outfit checks are constant. We’re constantly trying to reassure ourselves that we look on point, only after a few too many drinks, we’re sure we see Gremlins looking back at us from the other side of the mirror. How did this much alcohol do this to our perfectly contoured cheek bones? We always need to check ourselves, and it’s a never-ending cycle all night long.
- We take a BILLION selfies together. If there was a cyber graveyard for deleted selfies, I’m willing to bet that over half of them are of drunk girls. We really do take an insane amount of pictures together, and most of them get deleted because at least one person in the picture hates the way they look until finally someone takes one for the team and agrees they look decent enough for Instagram (but only after approved filtering, of course).
- We talk about poop. And other gross things that women never otherwise speak of. When we’re around men, we’re like delicate and enchanting temptresses, but out with our ladies after a few glasses of Cab Sav, all bets are off. Nothing is off limits.
- We have extremely detailed sex talks that we wouldn’t ever have when sober. We often swap sex stories with our closest girlfriends, but when the buzz actually hits, we spare no details. We’re exactly like men, even going as far as describing parts and sequences in grotesque details. When we’re finally sober again the next morning, we’re like, “Oh, damn. I said that out loud!” Oops.
- There’s always a casualty. One of our other mister sisters has lost all her morals and we’re trying to keep her under control. Whether it’s keeping her from drunk dialing her ex, going home with a hashtag #NOPE random, or just plain falling over herself and losing shoes, there’s always that one friend who can’t keep her act together.
- We have stupid fights. Sometimes when the wrong type of buzz hits us, the claws come out. When you’re having completely candid conversations and mixing them with alcohol, sometimes crap gets a little out of hand. We’re only human. But not to worry, usually even though we might get into drunken spats with one another, we can also make up as fast as guys do, and head straight to the next phase…
- We have tearful heart-to-hearts. Whether we were arguing like crazy one minute, or wildly dancing just a moment before, drunk women can flip that switch real quick into a state of endless hugging and “I love you”s coupled with tears of happiness and confessing how much we all mean to each other. This is usually how we end the night, and then we wake up and laugh at how ridiculous we are the next day and talk about the next time we plan to do it all over again.