My Trust Issues Totally Disappear When A Guy Does These 11 Things

I don’t ask men to verify and validate every move they make. I don’t try to break passwords or conduct sting operations but I’m also no one’s fool. Over the years, I’ve learned how to separate the players from the serious-relationship contenders. Here’s how a dude assures me that he’s being legit.

1. He makes plans far in advance. A reasonable guy outlines his schedule early. After all, he doesn’t want to miss the chance to see me again because our previous obligations squeezed out our free time. It’s an immediate green flag when he consistently writes me into his life. On the other hand, if his palms start sweating when I ask him to pull up his calendar, that’s a sign of a different kind.
2. He wants me to know his friends. Meeting the friends might be even more significant than meeting the family. His mom is probably innocent of his possible romantic juggling acts, whereas his buds have almost certainly heard all about his various exploits and might slip up by calling me the wrong name. So when I’m not allowed to meet the boys, I wonder why. When he’s excited to intro me to his crew, I start to feel pretty secure about the state of things.
3. He likes to take me to his regular spots. I don’t want to be the chick who only sees him at certain joints because he’s afraid we might run into one of his other suitors if we visited other establishments. When he shares his favorite hangouts with me, I feel secure knowing that he wants me to be part of his routine, not an outsider he visits only on neutral territory.
4. He shares personal details. A dashing man of mystery sounds fun in theory, but IRL, a secretive dude is not a sexy spy—he’s a sneaky jerk who doesn’t want to inadvertently give away too many details. Instead, there’s something refreshing about a gent who happily reveals all. A guy who wants me to trust him needs to help me learn who he really is.
5. He friend requests me on Facebook. Facebook is a big deal. We don’t just “follow” each other on Facebook. We become “friends.” And if he wants to, he can proclaim to the whole world that the two of us are a couple. Some guys get really squirmy about the issue, and some couples prefer to forego the corniness. But if a guy really wants to earn my confidence, publicly boasting about our relationship is a good way to do it. So although the gesture has all the sophistication of a note reading, “Check ‘yes’ if u like me 2,” yep, it still matters.
6. He’s nonchalant about his phone. He casually sets his phone on my kitchen counter to charge and then heads upstairs to take a shower. He’s not stressed about the texts that might come through. He’s also not afraid that I’ll dig too far into his digital life. I’m not going to touch his phone without permission regardless, but if he protects that thing like it contains state secrets, I’m sure going to wonder what he’s got to hide.
7. He sounds excited, not panicked when I hit him up out of the blue. What could be better than an unexpected call or text from the woman he’s crazy about? Or if we’ve been together a while, a surprise visit to share wine and dessert? It’s hard for him to fake a response when he’s caught slightly off guard. There’s nothing more reassuring than having my spontaneous contact greeted with an enthusiastic tone or a big appreciative hug.
8. He clears a lot of prime time for us. No matter how busy a guy is, he’ll clear some time for the things he values most. If I’m going to consider a relationship with him, I absolutely need to be on his VIP list. A consistent pattern of Saturday night dates, invites to family gatherings, and phone calls before 10:00 p.m. sets the tone for a trusting partnership. 
9. He can give honest feedback when I ask for it. I’m wary of the smooth operator who references a limitless supply of generic compliments. Sure, I’m beautiful and hilarious and overall wonderful most of the time. But sometimes I’m grimy, confused, and overall oddball. In other words, I’m a fully complex human who occasionally needs my mate to be more than a cheerful yes-man. I appreciate a guy who risks telling me what I don’t want to hear. A relationship based on empty flattery is flimsy at best and totally disingenuous at worst.
10. He trusts me. Our self-perception affects how we expect others to think and feel in a given situation. A man who conceives of a thousand ways I might be secretly screwing him over could be seeing the worst in me because he can imagine himself behaving untruthfully. But if he takes me at my word and isn’t constantly anticipating that I’ll let him down somehow, maybe it’s because he himself is a good person.
11. He’s reliable and punctual. The simplest evidence of all? He does the things he says he’s going to do when he says he’s going to do them. Promised to call when he got off work? The phone rings at 7:00 p.m. sharp. Agreed to research airfares for a weekend getaway? He emails me links the next day. I never have to worry that he’ll flake. When he tells me something once, I know he’ll follow through. It’s the simplest thing, but damn it makes a powerful statement.