I Try To Date But Always End Up Wishing I Hadn’t Bothered

I Try To Date But Always End Up Wishing I Hadn’t Bothered

It’s the story of my life and yet I never learn — every time I put myself out there and try to get back into the dating scene, I end up regretting it. It only seems appealing once it’s been long enough that I’ve forgotten what a waste it actually is. Here’s why I’m much happier abstaining entirely:

  1. It takes too much time. I wouldn’t mind the time spent if I had some guarantee that anything would come of it, but as we all know, usually nothing does. I have so much going on in my life that I’d rather dedicate that time to and I usually regret spending any of it on dating.
  2. I can’t stand going on dates. I mean, can we all agree that it’s the worst? It’s so unnatural and stilted and such a weird way to spend your time. You’re meeting to eat food or drink drinks or whatever with a total stranger in the hope that somehow the two of you will magically hit it off. The odds aren’t great, and it’s more often awful or mediocre than amazing.
  3. I hate awkwardness. There’s nothing more inherently awkward than dating someone you’ve never met. It can even be strange to go on a date with someone you know, especially if you never thought about them that way before. I’d rather just skip the whole ordeal and continue going about my life the way I do now.
  4. I don’t have extra nights to waste on strangers. I’m a busy lady with a non-traditional work schedule, which means that I’m tied up most nights and all weekend. My free time is a precious commodity, so I get pissed when I end up wasting it on yet another fruitless date.
  5. I hardly get asked out anyway, so it’s difficult to feel enthused. Part of the reason I never have to worry much about the issue of dating is that no one asks. Half the time I end up initiating because I get impatient, and — go figure — I end up with passive guys in my life. It’s the worst, but the only way I go on dates at all is to become the aggressor. Obviously that gets old and I don’t like it, so I don’t bother at all.
  6. It all feels so contrived. I don’t think I’ve ever been asked on a date in person, so I probably wouldn’t know how to react if it ever happened. I’ve used dating apps and that feels even weirder and more forced. I hate the whole process, which is why I fall into casual situations with men who are too lazy to ask me out in the first place.
  7. I’d rather do almost anything else. I enjoy my friends, have tons of hobbies, and live in a big city. I don’t need to go on dates for entertainment. I find them to be more like pulling teeth than anything else, so I’d literally rather stay home with my cat, dye my hair, and read a book than go out with a random guy.
  8. I’ll choose a friend over a date every time. It’s true. I know that a night out with a friend is a guaranteed good time. A date? Not so much. It’s hit or miss, so I’ll always choose spending fun times with people who I already know value me and my company.
  9. Dating usually goes nowhere. I guess I sound cynical, but it’s the truth. The odds are not in my favor. I don’t like doing things I’m not good at and I really don’t feel like I’m good at dating. It’s simpler to abstain and keeps the drama out of my life. When I don’t date, my feelings aren’t at the mercy of anyone’s actions.
  10. Even if there’s a spark of promise, it fades out. I’m so tired of getting my hopes up against my better judgment and then getting hurt yet again. I know I can’t succeed if I don’t try, but I don’t find my single life to be anything close to failure. I’m very content without a man around. Why mess with something that always ends up hurting me?
  11. I lose my focus on my goals. Dating is pesky because no matter what, I do end up a bit distracted. Even if I’m still busy and productive, I lose some of my edge. It’s a given consequence of adding another element into my life, even if I don’t even see the dude all that much.
  12. It disrupts my perfectly happy single life. I’m always fine, and then that little voice in my head whispers that I should be discontent with my loner style. In reality, I love being single! Yes, if some amazing love came along, I’d go for it, but I don’t really believe in searching it out anymore. I’m tired of the drama.
  13. I only date because I miss sex and get frustrated. I hate that I still care about sex so much — I have a very healthy sex drive and I like getting my needs satisfied on the regular. I’ve gone through dry spells so long that I hardly felt like a sexual being anymore and it sucked. I don’t have any casual sex partners I can turn to, which is super annoying because dating for sex ends up in disaster.
  14. As soon as I let myself fall for someone, he breaks my heart. It’s gotten to be such a regular occurrence that it feels like some kind of dumb curse. It’s like they can smell that I finally care, they’ve won, and they aren’t interested anymore. I’m really over that, trust me. It makes me terrified to actually let myself care about a man and that’s tragic.
  15. It’s a stupid game that I don’t want to play. I’m not into playing games. I like things to be simple, sweet, and direct. I’m too old for that crap. I want to know exactly how someone feels about me and I want to feel comfortable showing how I feel in return. What’s wrong with that? I’d think that would be appealing but turns out, a lot of guys love to play games. I’m done with players and I’m tired of making an effort.
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She hopes that they resonate with you or at the very least make you chuckle a bit. She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and The Indie Chicks.