I’ve recently started micro-dating and it’s been awesome. It basically consists of super short, super low-stakes dates with an array of people I meet online. It’s cheap, easy, low-stress, and if something comes of it, then cool—if not, I’m having a good time anyway.
It’s like I’m just dating for the sake of it and I feel so free. Micro-dating is perfect for someone like me who likes to keep one foot in and one foot out of their relationships. I’m going out with people not because I necessarily like them, but because I want to test them out. With micro-dating, the stakes have never been lower.
I’m saving both time and money. I’m spending way less money micro-dating than I would be if I was dating someone seriously. First of all, the dates are short as a rule, so it’s usually just a cup of coffee or a quick walk in the park. In the early days of online dating, I wouldn’t usually have to go halves on a date, but guys seem to be expecting it lately, maybe because they think they’re being masochistic if they don’t let the girl pay. Whatever. It doesn’t matter because by putting a time limit on my dates, I’m also lowering the price and to me, that’s a genius revelation.
Guys do it so I should be able to do it too. I feel like guys are notorious for micro-dating—they spend, like, a second with a girl and expect a reward right away. I don’t expect any kind of sexual favor out of the people I’m dating like some guys do, but I am liking the whole “take it or leave it” thing. It’s just a quick meeting and if sparks fly, great. If not, NEXT.
It’s been great for my confidence. I’ve literally gone on about 20 dates this past month. I’m just flying through these guys and it’s been surprisingly good for my confidence, though admittedly, it is hard to coordinate when they text me back all at once. At least I know that I have options, and that’s a comforting thing to think about.
It’s inspiring me to say no. I used to think that if a guy asked me to go out again, I should probably say yes because what if I don’t meet someone better? Well, try going on five short dates a week and you’ll see very quickly how untrue that is. There are so many guys out there and now I know that it’s completely OK to turn one down if I’m not feeling it because there will always be another guy just around the corner.
I feel like I have all these potential boyfriends to choose from. Variety is good, especially in the realm of dating. Before I started micro-dating, I would look at the two or three guys who I barely liked on OkCupid and would sigh, thinking I’d never find the perfect guy. Now that I’m actually taking action and going out with any guy who asks me, I’ve been super surprised to find out that they’re often totally different from their profile and sometimes way cooler than I could even imagine. Future boyfriend possibilities have completely opened up.
It’s possible that I’m doing this out of fear of commitment, but who cares? I know what you’re thinking: Is this girl just using this micro-dating thing as an excuse to not commit to someone? To that I say, well, yes and no. I feel better when I know I have options and yes, I hate the idea of being trapped, but it’s more like I’m afraid of being trapped with the wrong person. Trap me with the perfect guy and I’m totally fine with it.
If something really clicks, then I’ll stop. I told myself that if I come across a guy in my micro-dating marathon that makes me feel like I’ve never felt before, then I’ll take it further. I’d definitely give up the MD lifestyle for love.
It feels almost business-like. It’s weird, but ever since I’ve been going on all these dates, I’ve become pretty casual about the whole situation and it feels more like we’re meeting to discuss a creative work project than an actual date. It’s not awkward or stressful because I’m not building it up weeks in advance. It feels pretty great.
I like being able to have my own life without losing myself in someone else. What made me most excited about this new way of dating is the fact that I’m not allowing myself to get laser-focused on the task of finding a boyfriend. I know in the back of my mind that as long as I keep micro-dating, I’ll find someone eventually. Therefore, I can save all the space in my frontal lobe for more important things for now.
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