10 Signs You’re Unconsciously Sabotaging Your Relationship

Sometimes we don’t think we deserve the good things that come into our lives, particularly when it comes to happy relationships. Unfortunately, feeling unworthy of love will likely lead you to sabotage it in ways you don’t even realize. It starts out with small things, maybe arriving late to a date or not holding his hand as much — but all the minor details will eventually build up into something much bigger and may even cost you your relationship. Here are 10 signs you’re subconsciously sabotaging your relationship:

  1. You make lame excuses not to be intimate. Hey, sometimes a girl is just tired — I get that. I also get that intimacy is important, and when you find yourself making excuses not to have sex more often than not, you might be sabotaging your relationship.
  2. You often cancel plans or show up seriously late. Being on time is a sign of respect. It means that you care about other people’s time, and that you don’t want to leave them waiting if you can help it. Sometimes being late happens, but if it’s happening a lot, you could be testing his patience. Same goes for canceling altogether. We all need time off and nights in sometimes, but there’s a limit.
  3. You focus on the negative rather than the positive. You can’t seem to appreciate what you have right there in front of you, and instead focus on what you don’t have.
  4. You take things personally. It’s not all about you, and you know that. Yet, there you are, taking things personally and starting yet another fight. You always apologize after, but you never seem to learn from your past mistakes, and it happens over and over again.
  5. You always put other things ahead of your relationship. It’s OK to have ambitions, friends, family and other responsibilities, and yes, sometimes they do take priority — but not all the time. Sometimes you have to put your man ahead of other things, and if you’re not, then you could be sending him the signal to scram!
  6. You’d rather be right than in love. Couples fight. That’s natural. But you can’t let the little things go and never miss a chance to be argumentative for no reason. When you’re so stubborn that you just won’t let things go, you could be pushing him away.
  7.  You dwell on the past. You keep talking about how things used to be, not how they are, or even how you’d like them to be in the future. If you show no interest in the present, you might be sabotaging your relationship’s future prospects
  8. You play the comparison game. He’s not like your ex — I get it. You’re going to have to get over it (or, more accurately, him). Comparing the two makes your current man jealous, annoyed, and likely to ditch your beautiful butt eventually. After all, if your ex was that great, you wouldn’t have broken up to begin with.
  9. Sarcasm has become the way you communicate with him. There’s nothing worse than a conversation that’s 100% sarcastic. If you find yourself rarely having serious adult conversations with your man, you should probably think about why
  10. You assume you already know what he’s thinking. If you assume that you already know what the other person is thinking, you lose those important conversations that are vital to a healthy relationship. You’re not a mind reader. Let him have his say.
Sarah is a full-time content marketer, part-time freelancer. She’s a serial hobbyist (which just means that she does a lot of random things, but none of them particularly well). Her real talent lies in her ability to consume copious amounts of wine, whilst discussing feminism and reading A Song of Ice and Fire for the 8th time... All while saving puppies from burning houses, of course. You can see more of her work here, or pop over to Twitter and say “‘ello ‘ello” @daughterdipstik