The Ultimate Guide To Having Better Sex

There’s no magic formula for having great sex; it’s pretty universally accepted that sex is an art, not a science. Still, that doesn’t mean that there aren’t some universal pointers that everyone can benefit from. To begin, try these tips:

  1. Leave the lights on so you can get a good look at each other. Clearly you both find each other sexy, otherwise you wouldn’t be here in the first place. Let go of your inhibitions; he thinks you’re gorgeous, and he’s most definitely not in the mood to be critical. And don’t forget that taking in the view works both ways – you’re entitled to your fair share of eye candy, too!
  2. Don’t underestimate the power of great lingerie. From push-up bras to corsets to garters to silky chemises, wearing something special can get you primed and in the mood. Yes, your man will love how you look. Even more importantly, though, he’ll love how it makes you feel. Lingerie that makes you know you look good will give you confidence, and that’s the sexiest trait of all.
  3. Turn off your brain. Sometimes, the less you think, the better. If you’re constantly trying to figure out what he’s thinking, what he’s going to do next, what you’re going to do next, and more, you won’t be able to relax. Try to let go of your thoughts and your active mind, and just surrender to how you feel. The rest will work itself out.
  4. Talk about sex outside the bedroom. Sometimes there’s nothing hotter than risqué banter in a place where you absolutely, positively are not going to get it on. Out at the library together? Tell him what you want to do to him tonight. Working out at the gym? Tell him how hard he made your heart pound the last time you were together. It’ll get both of you thinking about it until you can’t take your mind off your partner. By the time you finally do get together your desire level will be sky-high.
  5. Touch each other absolutely everywhere. Yes, it’s true that touching his naughty bits will usually do the trick, but don’t forget that his whole body is begging to be touched. Stroke his arms, run your fingers up his back, nibble on his earlobes, kiss his shoulders, tickle his waistband. Don’t leave any part of his body ignored, and you’ll truly fire up his senses.
  6. Play mood music. Whether it’s romantic crooning or fast-paced rap that best fits the mood you’re in, music can help enhance your emotions and get you moving together in rhythm.
  7. Don’t worry about frequency. Quality is more important than quantity, so don’t feel like you need to stick to some arbitrary schedule or worry that if a certain amount of time has gone by and you haven’t done it, you’re doing it wrong. In fact, a break can sometimes be just what you need to heighten your desire for each other and reinvigorate your passion.
  8. Sleep naked. First of all, it’s nice to feel and hold each other’s bodies while falling asleep. More important, though, is that you’ll be that much more likely to find each other in the middle of the night or early in the morning, when you’re relaxed and open to fooling around. Even if all you do is sleep, it still helps you love your body as is and also get well-acquainted with each other’s bodies.
  9. Be direct — it’s always more effective than being subtle. The best part about having a partner who wants to make you feel good is that he wants to make you feel good. That means he’s more than likely very eager to hear more from you about what you want and how you want it. Talk to him before you do it. Talk to him while you do it. Talk to him after you do it. Not only will it be welcome, but it’s actually also pretty hot.
  10. Have some sessions where you worry more about yourself than your partner, and tell him to do the same. This one may sound counterintuitive, but it can really work wonders. He knows better than anyone else what he likes, and the same goes for you. If you both concentrate on moving and maneuvering in the way that gives you the most pleasure, you’ll both be able to reach new heights.
  11. Mix up your locations. Maybe that means an exotic vacation, maybe it means a cheesy but fun getaway to a local motel, or maybe it just means “initiating” your new couch. Either way, getting a change of scenery can make sure your sex life doesn’t feel repetitive or stale but new and exciting.
  12. Never, ever, ever, ever lie. Do you want to be faking orgasms with him for the next twenty years? I didn’t think so. If something doesn’t feel good, don’t tell him it does. Instead, give him some helpful hints and tell him outright what you want more of and what you want less of. Otherwise, you’re totally leading him in the wrong direction and he’ll never figure out what really makes you tick.
  13. Be open to trying new things. Don’t do anything you’re not 100% comfortable with, but at the same time, don’t write off anything as something you’d “never” do. There are girls who absolutely adore things like using sex toys in bed, handcuffs, role play, or other toys and games to spice up their love life. Then again, there are girls who aren’t into it one bit. If you don’t try it, though, you won’t know if you like it.
  14. Make sure that you’re both doing your fair share of initiating. One of the biggest turn-ons is making sure your partner is turned on. It can be tough when you always want it more than he does, or vice versa. If either one of you feels like you’re always the one to make the first move, it’ll start to feel one-sided, and that’s not sexy at all.
  15. Do a post-game review after a particularly pleasing session. Talk, talk, talk. They say that the mouth is the sexiest part of the body, and not just for obvious reasons. Only by going through a postgame play-by-play will you be able to capture and hold on to what made that particular time so great. That way, you can repeat it again and again. Enjoy.
Jessica Levy is a freelance blogger and content writer. She’s also a politics junkie, a fledgling foodie, and a frequent traveler. She has lived in Morocco, Israel, India, and Barbados, and never wants to be cold again. Follow her on Twitter!