Being with a partner should flow easily. Sure, there will be bumps along the way, but you should at least be able to take comfort in the fact that you have each other. When you no longer feel that way, there’s a problem. If any of these things sound familiar, your relationship may be on the way out.
You don’t trust them.
Whether it’s with a secret or with the certainty that they’ll remain faithful to you, you don’t trust your partner. This signals that you aren’t comfortable with them because you should be able to let go by letting them do their thing. Trust is a super important part of a relationship and without it, it’s impossible to relax into just being with each other.
Silence is wildly disconcerting.
You get super uncomfortable when there’s a gap between the two of you talking. It might not seem like a big deal, but this could really signify a greater discomfort with the relationship. You may feel like you always have to keep things moving because you dread to think of what it would be like if you both paused for a second. There could be a fear that you two aren’t a match.
You can’t tell them when you’re in a bad mood.
Part of you might still be putting your best foot forward as you did at the beginning of the relationship. At some point, this is supposed to change because you should be letting your guard down. Instead, you’re struggling to let yourself be human in front of your partner. You only want them to think the best of you and you’re worried they’d reject the real you.
You can’t speak freely.
You don’t feel as if you can say whatever’s on your mind without consequence (within reason of course). You feel very guarded, especially when it comes to your feelings. This is a sign that you aren’t comfortable enough with your partner to share how you’re really feeling. Such guardedness isn’t good for long-term happiness in a relationship. You should definitely be able to share freely.
You don’t share certain aspects of your life.
You either hide certain parts of your life or you refuse to talk about them altogether. Sure, refraining from excessive work talk is good, but no talk at all and it may be indicative that you don’t feel comfortable sharing. It could be vulnerable for you and you just aren’t there with your partner. This is a red flag.
You drink alcohol a lot around them.
This one is a dead giveaway, but I have to touch on it nonetheless. A blinking red flag is that you have to booze yourself up whenever you’re around them. It’s okay to have a beer or two if that’s your thing, but if you find yourself having an excessive amount of alcohol whenever you’re around your partner, you have a serious problem. The problem’s probably not just with your partner either.
You don’t talk to your friends about them.
Your friends know minimal about this lover of yours even though you’ve been dating for a little while now. You don’t gush about them or tell your friends how it’s going. This is not a good sign because if you were super comfortable and happy with your partner you’d definitely want to talk about it with those most important in your life. Instead, they’re almost a secret.
You don’t fart around them.
Super silly, I know. Farting isn’t a requirement for being in a healthy relationship, but it sure shows some serious comfort with one another. If you find yourself holding your farts in, your partner may not have earned your trust yet. That, or you’re just uncomfortable and can’t get up the nerve to take the leap. If you would fart around your friends but not your partner, that’s a sign.
They’ve yet to see you without makeup.
I get it, you love make-up. It’s an essential part of your look and you feel comfortable in it. However, there are times when your partner should be seeing you without it, like if you sleep at their house. If you don’t do your normal routine of taking off your face and instead leave it on and sleep with it overnight just because you don’t want your partner to see you without it, this is a red flag!
You often think about not being in the relationship.
Maybe the relationship is still new, it’s old, or it’s somewhere in between. Regardless of its age, you daydream about what it would like to no longer be in it. You think about what the break-up would look like and you speculate about your lives without one another. If you were comfortable in your relationship you wouldn’t get so carried away with thoughts like these.
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