Some women claim they “just don’t get along with other women,” but if they have no real friendships at all, there’s usually more going on beneath the surface. Maintaining friendships requires effort, accountability, and emotional openness—things that some people, for various reasons, struggle with. It’s not just bad luck or “drama” that keeps them from forming lasting bonds. Instead, it’s often a mix of emotional walls, competitive tendencies, and an inability to connect on a deeper level. If someone cycles through friendships or only maintains surface-level connections, here are some uncomfortable truths they might need to face.
1. They Say They “Get Along Better With Men” To Justify Not Having Friends
When a woman claims she “just gets along better with men,” it often raises a red flag—not because there’s anything wrong with having male friends, but because it implies a pattern of failed female friendships. If every past friendship with a woman ended in drama, betrayal, or a quiet fade-out, it’s worth asking why. The truth is, genuinely well-adjusted people can form connections across all genders, and dismissing female friendships as too complicated often says more about the person than it does about other women. According to relationship research, women often judge friendships more harshly than men, with studies showing women report higher rates of roommate conflicts and friendship breakups due to differing expectations of emotional intimacy and betrayal sensitivity.
Instead of blaming others for past fallouts, it’s important to reflect on common patterns. Do they have trouble with emotional intimacy? Do they struggle with jealousy or competition? True friendship isn’t about gender—it’s about shared values, mutual respect, and the ability to maintain long-term connections without self-sabotage.
2. They Think Following Someone On Instagram Is The Same As Actual Friendships
Social media has blurred the lines between acquaintances and real friends. For some women who struggle to maintain friendships, a large following and casual comment exchanges can create the illusion of a full social life. But likes, DMs, and sporadic interactions don’t replace deep, meaningful bonds built through shared experiences and trust. Social media creates an “illusion of connection,” warns COSN Effect, noting that 73% of users admit their online friends wouldn’t support them in real crises, reducing relationships to transactional likes and superficial engagement.
Friendships require effort beyond hitting “like” on a post or reacting to someone’s story. If the only conversations they have with others are online, or if they struggle to reach out for real, in-person interactions, they might be avoiding the vulnerability that true friendships require. Real relationships aren’t curated for an audience—they exist in unfiltered moments, beyond the highlight reels.
3. They’re Always The One Oversharing To Strangers
When someone doesn’t have close friendships, they often compensate by sharing personal details with people they barely know. Instead of building trust naturally, they try to force emotional intimacy too quickly. While this might feel like genuine connection in the moment, it often makes others uncomfortable and pushes them away. Therapy experts note that compulsive oversharing often stems from insecurity or avoidance of real intimacy, with 68% of chronic oversharers reporting loneliness despite frequent social media interaction.
True friendships develop over time, with a balance of give and take. If someone is constantly telling deeply personal stories to new acquaintances, it might be a sign they lack stable, long-term friendships where they feel truly seen and supported.
4. They Struggle When They Can’t Control The Conversation
Some people mistake conversation for a performance—they want the spotlight, not a dialogue. If someone always steers discussions back to themselves, interrupts frequently, or dominates every group setting, they might find it difficult to maintain close friendships. Communication studies reveal that conversation dominators score 42% lower in emotional intelligence assessments, often using verbal control tactics to mask social anxiety or insecurity about equal dialogue.
Real friends listen just as much as they talk. If someone finds themselves unable to let conversations flow naturally, or gets frustrated when the topic isn’t about them, it’s worth asking if they truly value connection—or just attention.
5. They Get Weirdly Competitive With Any Woman In Their Life
Healthy friendships thrive on mutual support, not constant comparison. If someone turns everything into a competition—who’s more successful, who looks better, who has the more interesting life—it’s hard to form lasting bonds. No one wants to feel like their friend is secretly rooting against them.
Genuine friendships involve celebrating each other’s wins without resentment. If someone struggles to be happy for other women, they’ll have a hard time keeping female friends in their life.
6. They Say They “Hate Drama,” Yet Somehow, Drama Follows Them Everywhere
People who constantly claim they “hate drama” are often the ones creating it. If every friendship ends in conflict, misunderstandings, or sudden ghosting, there’s usually a common denominator. Being unable to maintain long-term friendships without chaos is a sign of deeper emotional instability.
Strong friendships require emotional maturity, accountability, and the ability to work through conflicts. If someone is always walking away from friendships instead of resolving issues, they’ll continue to find themselves isolated.
7. They Latch Onto A New Best Friend Repeatedly
Rather than maintaining a group of close friends, some people cycle through “best friends” like a revolving door. They attach quickly, become overly dependent, and then feel abandoned when the other person pulls away.
Friendship isn’t about intensity—it’s about consistency. If someone’s relationships are always short-lived and emotionally draining, they might need to work on creating healthier, more balanced connections.
8. They Bond Over Gossip A Little Too Quickly
Gossip can feel like an easy way to connect, but it’s a shallow foundation for friendship. If someone only feels close to others when they’re bonding over negativity, they might struggle with deeper, more vulnerable conversations.
Real friendship isn’t just about talking about other people—it’s about sharing thoughts, fears, and joys. If someone finds it hard to be open about their real emotions, they’ll struggle to form lasting bonds.
9. They Mistake Transactional Relationships For Actual Friendships
Some people see relationships as a series of favors rather than genuine connections. They only reach out when they need something, and they measure friendships by what people do for them rather than how they make them feel.
True friendship isn’t about keeping score. If someone treats relationships like a business exchange, they’ll struggle to find people who stick around for the long haul.
10. They Disappear The Second They Get Into A Romantic Relationship
Some women only seek out friendships when they’re single. The second they’re in a relationship, they vanish—no calls, no texts, no effort to maintain the bond. Then, when the relationship ends, they suddenly need support again.
Friendships shouldn’t be placeholders for romantic downtime. If someone treats their friends like backup plans, they’ll quickly lose them. Strong friendships exist regardless of relationship status.
11. They Struggle To Celebrate Other Women’s Success Unless They’re Benefiting From It
Supportive friendships thrive on mutual celebration, but some women struggle to be happy for others unless there’s something in it for them. They might offer fake enthusiasm or forced congratulations, but deep down, they’re comparing themselves and wondering why they aren’t the ones being praised. Instead of lifting others up, they downplay accomplishments, shift the focus back to themselves, or find a way to insert negativity. This type of insecurity makes relationships feel competitive rather than supportive, leading to resentment on both sides.
Genuine friendships aren’t about keeping score. Real friends celebrate each other’s wins without jealousy or hidden agendas. If someone finds themselves feeling bitter or envious when another woman succeeds, it’s worth exploring why. Is it insecurity? A fear of being left behind? Instead of resenting others, they should use those feelings as motivation to improve their own life. The healthiest friendships are ones where both people can shine without dimming the other’s light.
12. They Vent Endlessly About Their Problems But Never Ask How Anyone Else Is
Friendship is a two-way street, but for some, it’s more like a personal therapy session. They treat every conversation as an opportunity to unload their problems, complain about their life, or seek endless reassurance—without ever pausing to check in on the other person. At first, friends might be patient and supportive, but over time, the imbalance becomes exhausting. No one wants to feel like they exist solely to provide emotional labor for someone who never returns the favor.
Healthy friendships involve listening just as much as talking. People naturally want to help and support those they care about, but when it’s never reciprocated, the relationship starts to feel one-sided. If someone notices that their friends are withdrawing, seem disengaged, or stop responding as enthusiastically, it might be because they feel drained. The fix? Pay attention. Ask how the other person is doing without waiting for them to volunteer the information.
13. They Keep People At Arm’s Length Because They Don’t Trust Anyone
Some women struggle with friendships not because they can’t find good people, but because they refuse to let anyone get close. Whether due to past betrayals, childhood wounds, or deeply ingrained trust issues, they instinctively push others away before they can be hurt. They keep conversations surface-level, avoid emotional intimacy, and secretly assume that every new friend will eventually let them down. While this might feel like self-protection, in reality, it’s self-sabotage.
Trust is essential for real friendships, and withholding it guarantees isolation. While it’s important to be cautious and set boundaries, constantly keeping others at a distance only ensures loneliness. The irony is that most people crave meaningful connections, yet fear keeps them from allowing those relationships to form. If someone struggles with this, the best step forward is to take small risks—share a little more, open up just enough to see how others respond.
14. They Expect Emotional Support But Never Reciprocate
Friendship is about give and take. Some women who struggle to maintain close bonds expect unwavering emotional support from others but fail to offer the same in return. They’ll vent for hours about their problems, but the second a friend needs them, they’re suddenly too busy or uninterested. Over time, people start noticing this imbalance and quietly pull away.
Being a good friend means showing up for people when they need you, not just when it’s convenient. If someone finds that their friendships are short-lived, it might be time to reflect on whether they’re offering the same level of care and support they expect from others. People want to feel valued, not just used as emotional sounding boards.
15. They Rewrite The Story Every Time A Friendship Ends Because They’re Never At Fault
When every friendship ends badly and the blame is always placed on the other person, it’s time to consider the common denominator. Some women struggle to maintain friendships because they refuse to take responsibility for their role in conflict. Instead of reflecting on what they might have done wrong, they paint themselves as the victim in every situation.
Healthy people are willing to admit when they’ve made mistakes. They take accountability, learn from past experiences, and grow. If someone finds themselves constantly saying, “I have no idea what happened, she just changed,” or “I always attract toxic people,” it’s worth considering whether the real issue is a refusal to acknowledge their own patterns.
