Marriage is one of life’s most rewarding journeys, but it’s not without its challenges. The best advice to navigate bumps in the road and monotony isn’t always the stuff everyone tells you but those underrated gems. Here are 15 life-changing pieces of advice married couples need to hear to make a good or a shaky marriage even better.
1. Don’t Expect to Be the Same Person as When You Got Married
People grow and change throughout the years, and so will your relationship, which is okay. What’s important is to grow together, not apart. Embrace each other’s growth and realize that evolving as individuals doesn’t mean drifting apart—it’s a chance to discover new sides of each other and fall in love all over again.
2. Saying “I’m Sorry” Can be More Important Than “I Love You”
“I love you” is great, but knowing how and when to apologize sincerely is crucial. Admitting when you’re wrong and taking responsibility for your actions will strengthen the relationship and communication. Don’t let pride get in the way, and never play the blame game.
3. Don’t Keep Score—You’re On the Same Team
Marriage isn’t a competition or a game to keep tabs on who does more or sacrifices less. When you start keeping score, it turns into a transactional relationship, and resentment sets in. Remember, you’re in this together, winning or losing as a team. Divvy up responsibilities and be mindful of what each other brings.
4. Make Date Nights Non-Negotiable
Marriage shouldn’t be the end of date nights. Life gets busy, and it’s easy to put “couple time” on the back burner, but if you don’t make time to connect, the spark can fizzle. Make time for each other outside of the day-to-day grind and the kids—go for dinner, a movie, or even just a walk and talk.
5. It’s Okay to Go to Bed Angry (Sometimes)
We’ve all heard the “never go to bed angry,” rule, but forcing a resolution when you’re exhausted and emotional doesn’t always work. Sometimes, sleeping on it and revisiting the issue with a clear head the next day will help you resolve it easier.
6. Stop Expecting Your Partner to Read Your Mind
Assuming your spouse should know what you’re thinking or how you’re feeling because you’ve been together so long is not realistic. Speak up, express your needs directly and openly, and avoid the trap of expecting them to magically know what’s bothering you.
7. Keep Flirting with Each Other
Flirting also shouldn’t come to a stop just because you’re married. Send a cute text, leave a flirty note, tease them, and give them that look. Those little moments of fun, affection, and physical touch keep the romance alive, even if you’ve been together forever.
8. Be Appreciative of the Small Things
Notice and appreciate the small, everyday acts of love—like them making you your favorite coffee, taking care of a chore, or handling the kids when you’ve had enough. Expressing love through actions is important, so don’t overlook the little things; they matter more than you think.
9. It’s Okay to Not Always Feel “In Love”
Marriage isn’t always smooth sailing, and as the years go by, you won’t always feel that intense romantic love. That doesn’t mean something’s wrong—it’s just the rhythm of a long-term relationship. Love changes and deepens; commitment and partnership carry you through each phase.
10. Be Each Other’s Cheer Squad
Make your spouse your number one priority and be their biggest fan. Celebrate their achievements and let them know you always have their back and your shoulder if they need to cry. When they get a work promotion or just get through a tough day, celebrate each other’s achievements to keep the positive energy flowing and reinforce you’re in each other’s corner, cheering.
11. Be Kind, Even When You’re Frustrated
It’s easy to let frustration turn into harsh words, but kindness should always be the foundation of how you treat each other. Your spouse is someone you love and share your life with, so maintain respectful communication like you would with anyone else to keep things from escalating and help resolve problems without hurting feelings or building resentment.
12. You Don’t Have to Solve All Their Problems
You don’t always have to fix everything or offer solutions; sometimes, your partner needs to vent and feel heard. Ask them if they need support or solutions when they have an issue. If they just need you to listen, the most supportive thing you can do is sit with them, let them talk through whatever’s going on, and listen patiently.
13. It’s How You Handle the Bad Days that Counts
No marriage (or relationship, for that matter) is sunshine and rainbows, and that’s okay. What matters is how you handle and bounce back on the bad days. Argue, feel frustrated, but always come back to the table with a desire to find a resolution and move forward together.
14. Sex Is Important, But It’s Not Everything
Physical intimacy is a big part of marriage, but emotional intimacy matters just as much. You may not be going at it like rabbits anymore, but connecting on a deeper level through conversation, trust, and vulnerability keeps the relationship alive and thriving.
15. Laugh Together—A Lot
Don’t take life, marriage, or each other too seriously. The power of laughter is often overlooked. Sharing inside jokes, being silly, or finding humor in tough situations can help you stay bonded and remind you why you fell in love in the first place.
