When a marriage starts to feel strained, it’s easy to think that big, dramatic changes are the only way to fix things. But sometimes, the smallest shifts can have the biggest impact. Little moments of kindness, surprise, and reconnection can help rebuild the bond that’s been buried under stress and routine. If your marriage could use a refresh, these underrated fixes might be just what you need to bring back that spark.
1. Switch Sides Of The Bed For A Week
It sounds too simple to matter, but swapping sides of the bed can shake up your nightly routine in a surprisingly effective way. Sharing a bed often becomes automatic, with each person settling into their designated side night after night. Over time, this predictability can contribute to a sense of emotional distance. Switching sides forces you both to step out of your comfort zones, creating a fresh dynamic that can help break the monotony.
This small change also encourages physical closeness, especially if you’re suddenly closer to your partner’s side of the nightstand or within easier reach for a spontaneous cuddle. It might feel a little awkward at first, but that’s part of the point—the shift in perspective can lead to a renewed awareness of each other, reminding you both that even small adjustments can make a big difference in how connected you feel.
2. Schedule “No-Phone” Time So You Can Focus On Each Other
In a world where smartphones are constant companions, it’s easy to lose quality time to endless scrolling. Setting aside dedicated “no-phone” time creates space to reconnect without distractions. Whether it’s during dinner, before bed, or for an hour each evening, this simple boundary helps you focus on each other instead of screens. Research shows that phone-free bonding time can lead to stronger relationships, improved communication, increased creativity, and reduced stress levels.
Without phones pulling your attention away, conversations flow more naturally, and you’re more present in each other’s company. Even shared silence feels more meaningful when you’re not constantly checking notifications. Over time, this intentional time together can rebuild the emotional intimacy that often gets lost in the digital noise, reminding you both why you fell in love in the first place.
3. Swap Daily Complaints For Compliments
It’s easy to get stuck in a cycle of pointing out what’s wrong—especially when stress and frustration build up. But flipping that script and focusing on what your partner does right can shift the entire tone of your relationship. Start by swapping one daily complaint for a compliment, no matter how small. Instead of pointing out the dishes left in the sink, thank them for making your coffee or taking out the trash. According to relationship experts, swapping complaints for specific, positive requests can significantly improve communication and satisfaction in relationships.
This shift in focus creates a more positive atmosphere, making both of you feel more appreciated and valued. Over time, compliments become contagious, encouraging both partners to notice and acknowledge each other’s strengths. This simple habit can rebuild trust, soften tension, and remind you both of the good that still exists in your relationship—even when things feel difficult.
4. Start Texting Each Other Like You Did When You First Met
Remember the excitement of those early days when every text felt like a little thrill? Bringing back that playful, affectionate energy can help rekindle the spark that’s faded over time. Instead of using texts solely for logistics—“Pick up milk” or “What’s for dinner?”—send a flirty message, a sweet compliment, or a silly inside joke that only the two of you understand. Experts suggest that keeping the romance alive through flirty and complimentary texts can reignite passion and make your partner feel cherished.
These lighthearted texts help break through the daily grind, reminding you both of the fun and connection that brought you together in the first place. Even a quick “Thinking of you” or “Can’t wait to see you tonight” can make your partner feel more loved and appreciated. Over time, these small digital gestures help create a sense of closeness that carries over into your in-person interactions, making your relationship feel more playful and connected.
5. Take Separate Weekends Away To Miss Each Other
Spending time apart might sound counterintuitive when you’re trying to reconnect, but a little distance can actually bring you closer. Taking separate weekends away—whether it’s a solo trip, a visit with friends, or a personal retreat—gives you both space to recharge and rediscover your sense of self outside the relationship. And when you reunite, the time apart often makes you appreciate each other more. Human behavior expert Dr. Patrick Wanis exclusively told Glam that breaking patterns of routine in a relationship is essential to avoid boredom and taking each other for granted.
This time away can also help break patterns of resentment that build up when you’re constantly together. Absence really does make the heart grow fonder, and a brief break can remind you of the qualities you love most about each other. Plus, the time apart gives you fresh stories and experiences to share, injecting new energy into your conversations and helping you reconnect with a sense of curiosity and excitement.
6. Surprise Them With Their Favorite Thing
Small, unexpected acts of kindness can have a surprisingly powerful impact on your relationship. Picking up your partner’s favorite snack—whether it’s their go-to candy bar, a bag of chips, or a pint of ice cream—shows that you’re thinking of them, even when you’re apart. It’s a simple gesture that says, “I know what you love, and I wanted to make you smile.”
These little surprises help break through the routine of daily life, adding moments of joy that remind you both to appreciate each other. They also create a sense of being cared for in small but meaningful ways. Over time, these thoughtful gestures build a foundation of love and attentiveness that can help heal the cracks that have formed in your marriage.
7. Go For Silent Walks Together
Sometimes, the pressure to talk things out can make it harder to reconnect. Silent walks offer a different kind of intimacy—one that’s built on simply being present together. Walking side by side without the need to fill the silence creates a sense of calm and closeness that words can’t always capture. The shared experience of moving through the world together can help you feel more connected, even without constant conversation.
These walks also provide a break from the noise of everyday life, giving both of you space to process your thoughts without the pressure of immediate discussion. Over time, this shared quiet time can help rebuild a sense of partnership and ease, reminding you that sometimes, just being together is enough to strengthen your bond.
8. Rewatch The First Movie You Ever Saw Together
Nostalgia has a powerful way of bringing people closer. Rewatching the first movie you ever saw together can transport you back to those early days when everything felt new and exciting. Whether it was a romantic comedy, a cheesy action flick, or a classic drama, revisiting that moment helps you reconnect with the feelings that first brought you together.
This shared experience creates an opportunity to reminisce about your early relationship—what you loved about each other, the inside jokes you shared, and the excitement of those first dates. Even if life has become more complicated since then, reliving that memory can help you see your partner through fresh eyes, reminding you both of the love that’s still there beneath the stress and routine.
9. Set An “Argument Pause” Rule So Fights Don’t Spiral
Arguments are inevitable, but they don’t have to spiral out of control. Setting an “argument pause” rule gives you both permission to step back when emotions run high, preventing heated discussions from turning into full-blown fights. When one of you says “pause,” it’s a signal to take a break, cool down, and revisit the conversation later with a clearer mind.
This rule helps prevent hurtful words that can’t be taken back, protecting your relationship from unnecessary damage. It also creates space for both partners to reflect on their feelings and approach the discussion more constructively. Over time, this habit builds better communication patterns, reducing the fear and tension that often come with disagreements and making it easier to resolve conflicts without hurting each other.
10. Write Down What First Attracted You To Them And Leave It Where They’ll See It
It’s easy to forget what first drew you to your partner, especially when daily stress and routine take over. Taking a moment to write down the qualities that initially captured your heart can help you reconnect with those feelings—and sharing that note with your partner can remind them of how much they’re loved and appreciated. Keep it simple: “I fell for your laugh,” “I love how you always know how to cheer me up,” or “I still get butterflies when you smile at me.”
Leaving this note where your partner will find it—on their pillow, tucked into their lunch bag, or taped to the bathroom mirror—turns it into a spontaneous moment of connection. These little reminders of why you chose each other help shift the focus from what’s wrong to what’s right, strengthening your bond one thoughtful word at a time.
11. Trade Chores For A Week So You Can Appreciate Each Other’s Load
Resentment often builds when one partner feels like they’re shouldering more of the household responsibilities. Trading chores for a week is a simple way to break that cycle and gain a deeper appreciation for what your partner does every day. Whether it’s cooking, cleaning, or handling the kids’ schedules, stepping into their shoes helps you see the challenges they face—and makes it harder to take their efforts for granted.
This role swap can also spark conversations about how to divide responsibilities more fairly moving forward. By experiencing each other’s daily tasks firsthand, you’re more likely to approach household duties as a team, reducing tension and creating a sense of shared partnership. And knowing that your efforts are seen and valued can make both of you feel more supported, strengthening your bond in the process.
12. Sit On The Same Side Of The Booth When You Go Out—Like You Used To
In the early days of a relationship, sitting side by side at a restaurant felt natural—like you couldn’t get close enough to each other. Over time, many couples default to sitting across from each other, turning meals into more of a routine than a romantic experience. Switching back to sitting on the same side of the booth can bring back that sense of closeness, making even a casual dinner feel more intimate.
This simple shift changes the dynamic of your meal, creating more opportunities for physical touch, whispered jokes, and shared moments that feel special. It’s a small gesture, but it reminds you both that being near each other isn’t just about habit—it’s about choosing closeness, even in the little moments. And sometimes, that’s all it takes to start feeling more connected again.
13. Share A Secret You’ve Never Told Them
Sharing something personal—especially a secret you’ve never told anyone—creates a sense of intimacy and trust that can help rebuild emotional closeness. It doesn’t have to be a deep, dark confession—just something that gives your partner a glimpse into your inner world. Maybe it’s a childhood fear, a dream you’ve never pursued, or a silly habit you’ve never admitted to.
This act of vulnerability shows that you trust your partner enough to let them see a side of you that few others know. In return, it often encourages them to open up as well, creating a deeper sense of connection and understanding. Over time, these moments of honesty help break down the walls that can build up in long-term relationships, reminding you both that there’s always more to discover about each other.
14. Cuddle Up On The Couch Rather Than Sitting On Opposite Ends
Physical touch is a powerful way to reconnect, but it often gets lost in the busyness of daily life. Instead of sitting at opposite ends of the couch, make a point to cuddle up next to each other when you’re watching TV or winding down for the evening. Even a simple touch—like holding hands, resting your head on their shoulder, or intertwining your legs—can create a sense of warmth and closeness that words can’t always convey.
This small shift in physical proximity can help break down emotional distance, reminding you both of the comfort and security you find in each other’s presence. Over time, these moments of physical connection help rebuild intimacy, making your relationship feel more affectionate and supportive—even when life gets hectic.
