Being a hottie isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. People assume beautiful looks lead a blissful carefree existence. Newsflash: there’s much more depth to life than appearance, and while it may come with some perks, there are also many unexpected challenges. Here are 9 assumptions about being an attractive female that are fake news and can really just weigh you down.
- You have high self-esteem and confidence. Knowing you’re having a perfect hair day doesn’t change how you feel on the inside. If you basically hate yourself, fixing up your outward appearance is generally good self-care and may uplift your mood temporarily, but it’s not a permanent solution. How we feel about ourselves and others runs deeper than the surface.
- You don’t know heartbreak. Being pretty doesn’t exempt you from toxic relationships. Good looking women are still ghosted, dumped, manipulated, and taken advantage of just like anyone else. In fact, personally, I think the better looking a guy is, the more likely he is to be a complete jerk. Once he goes past being a 7, his chances of being self-centered and douchey go way up. I normally prefer a guy who is decent-to-mildly attractive looking and still humble over an ego-inflated mega-hunk.
- You get a lot of attention. This may be true, but it doesn’t instantly mean said attention is positive. For one, other women automatically assume you might “steal their man” if you’re left alone with them. You’re likely to be viewed as competition. Even men around you might have a conflict with one another over who is going to “bag” you. Being noticed for your looks is likely to get you taken less seriously and thought of more as someone to be feared, challenged, or won like a prize. Why can’t you just be a person instead?
- You make friends easily. Women are either going to want to be you or perceive you as a threat. Either way, it’s a lot of pressure. Having women want to emulate your style and every move is not always flattering. They may demand a lot of your attention and expect more from you than you’re able to give. It’s not even a real reciprocal friendship dynamic and more of a groupie situation. We’re not on the set of Mean Girls here, and the women who are threatened by you make things uncomfortable as well. Just because you’re good looking does not mean their man will be tempted by you. If he is, that his problem and something they need to work out in their relationship without dragging you in the middle.
- You have no trouble finding a guy. I do not know where this misconception comes from. Looks only mean more guys probably want to sleep with you at first glance, but it doesn’t magically open up a whole new world of pursuers who aren’t available to anyone else. I’d rather be average looking and have a guy talk to me because he genuinely wants to get to know me than have 50 guys in my DMs because I posted a sultry selfie.
- People are nicer to you. Being pretty may get you compliments if you still have an overall relatable girl-next-door image, but being drop-dead supermodel gorgeous can be intimidating to people. They may feel self-conscious around you and idealize who you are. You could legitimately be a completely normal person and encounter a lot of people, both men and women, who simply do not know how to gather their words correctly around you. That can be really frustrating to deal with when you’re actually just a down to earth person who wants to be treated like everyone else.
- Your beauty is effortless. Unless you’re Beyoncé, you probably didn’t wake up like that. Even if you have a baseline level of flawlessness, there’s still a certain amount of maintenance that goes into being a woman, period. No woman is exempt from routine care like keeping eyebrows done, cuticles pushed back, teeth as white as possible, bikini area trimmed, legs shaved, and odors kept at bay. In fact, there can be a lot of pressure the better looking you are because one flaw will stand out even more. You can’t walk around a 10 all day and then have a muffin top belly roll hanging over your pants, or one uncovered pimple on an entire beat face.
- You’re lucky. This is a myth. Being desired solely for superficial reasons is exhausting. Attractive people do envy plain Janes, believe it or not. We want to blend in. We want to be taken seriously and not have scenarios about us scripted in peoples’ heads. Don’t automatically assume the grass is greener on the other side.
- You’re dumb. Your appearance does not correlate with brain size. Neither does it affect your ambition and interests. You are liable to completely care less about your looks and still be motivated to make a change in the world. Being a beauty queen does not mean your sole aspiration in life is to enter pageants and be a trophy wife.