One of the most obnoxious things I hear on a semi-regular basis regarding my search for love is that maybe my standards are too high. WTF? I’m not looking for a guy with a huge wallet, perfect abs or any of that other cliche stuff people seem to assume — I’m independent AF and I’ve got my crap handled. My standards are high because I know what I have to offer and I won’t settle for someone who’s not a great match for me — and I’m not sorry about that.
- I’ve got life dialed in and I’m looking for an equal. I may not be a celebrity or a CEO but I’m pretty damn proud of the woman I am, how I navigate my life and keep my crap together. I have higher standards because I have a lot going for me and I want someone who’s on the same level— it’s that simple.
- I deserve someone as awesome as I am. I know how I am in a relationship. I’m the type of woman who really goes above and beyond for the people I love, so it shouldn’t come as any surprise that I would want someone who can reciprocate those same thoughtful gestures and respectful treatment. I don’t think that’s asking for too much.
- I’m not looking to fill a void, which is why I choose to wait for the right one. The fact that I’ve been killing it on my own for this long is proof that I’m perfectly happy and capable on my own, which means there isn’t some giant gaping hole in my life that I desperately need to fill. I have the luxury of time and contentment, so I have the patience to truly wait until I find someone who genuinely compliments me.
- I don’t want to end up miserable years down the road. I won’t compromise my future by acting like I’m in some type of rush. I know there’s a certain pressure that comes into play in your late 20s and 30s to settle down and get married, but I want to make sure I’m choosing someone for all the right reasons and not just because he can help put a bigger roof over my head and donate towards creating my future children. I want to be genuinely happy as well.
- Most people choose someone before they know themselves. I’m sorry to say it but the people that generally think my standards are too high are the people who didn’t place a high enough value on themselves before they settled themselves. I value myself and I know what I have to offer the person who finally earns my heart forever — and I don’t take that lightly. I’m happier knowing that I took the time to develop and know myself first and I know I’m capable of finding my true match for life, even if it takes longer.
- Not needing a guy to complete me gives me the power to choose wisely. Like I said, I have my crap handled. I don’t need a guy to make me happy in order to feel complete. I’ve worked hard on myself and built an independent life that I’m completely happy living, so I don’t feel the need or the pressure to find someone quickly just to connect the dots. Truthfully, I love that I have the ability to choose wisely and take my time — it means my search for love comes from a place of strength, not weakness.
- Forever is a big deal. Some might not realize this but spending the rest of your life with someone and being there to physically and emotionally support not only yourself but a partner too is a big deal and shouldn’t be taken lightly by anyone. When it comes to love, I don’t have a five or ten-year plan — my plan is forever. I want to make the best possible decision I can because I truly do want to love and be happy with that guy for the rest of my days.
- I don’t want to look back with any regret. I don’t want to ever look back on my search for love and wonder “what if?” or wonder if I’m truly with the best possible person for me. I’m enjoying my time being single and taking this chapter of my life seriously. There’s reckless love that ends in divorce and there’s everlasting love and I want the later.
- I know the right one is out there, and I have patience. If I was desperate to have a relationship, I would have one. Things haven’t worked out with the guys in my past for multiple reasons, but it all boils down to a lack of true compatibility. It’s not that my standards are too high; it’s that I haven’t met the right person yet. Stop assuming I’m the problem.
