Unpopular Opinion: Being Called A “Slut” Is Actually A Compliment

Unpopular Opinion: Being Called A “Slut” Is Actually A Compliment

There are still more double standards between men and women than I care to count, particularly when it comes to sex and how much we’re having it. One of the biggest insults hurled at women is that we’re “sluts” if we enjoy sex and have a lot of it, but I actually prefer to see it as a compliment. Even if someone calls you the name with the intention of making you feel bad about yourself, you should thank them for it. After all, being a slut is a good thing — here’s why:

  1. You probably have a ton of orgasms. How could this ever be an insult? Having sex all the time is something to brag about, not something to be embarrassed about. If someone tries to shame you for having sex all the time, they must not have ever had an amazing orgasm.
  2. You go after what you want. It doesn’t matter how gorgeous you are — you can’t get any guy you want just by walking in front of him. You’ll have to talk to him, flirt with him, and seduce him if you want to get him into bed with you. That takes a lot of effort and talent, and you’ve got it.
  3. You’re adventurous and put yourself out there. “Sluts” have stories to tell. Why? Because they don’t stick to having sex in the same bed in the same positions every single night. They’re spontaneous, adventurous, and open-minded.
  4. You’re comfortable with your body. “Slutty” clothing shows off your body. That means you’re comfortable with the way your legs, ass, and boobs look. More women should embrace their body instead of hiding it behind baggy clothes because they’re afraid of what others might think.
  5. It means you’re honest. We love sex as much as men do, but some of us won’t admit it. Of course, “sluts” aren’t afraid to tell everyone about the amazing man they banged the night before. They’re honest about their needs, because they know there’s nothing wrong with being a horny woman.
  6. You reject society’s rules. “Sluts” don’t care what others have to say about them. If banging a certain someone would make them happy, then they’re going to do it without worrying about how it’ll hurt their reputation. They live for themselves, not for others.
  7. You’re probably really good in bed. Practice makes perfect. The more sex you have, the better you’ll become at it. Even though some men will run away when they hear how high your number is, they should actually be running toward you, because it means you’re more skilled than the other girls they’ve dated.
  8. You’re a social butterfly. You can’t have sex with strangers unless you talk to strangers. If you’re a “slut,” then you must be comfortable chatting with men you don’t know — and we all know that having good communication skills is essential when it comes to picking up men, finding a job, and flourishing in life in general.
  9. You know your body well. If you’re experienced, you should know your body pretty well. That means you’ll be able to orgasm faster than most women do. Plus, if there’s ever a change in your breasts or vagina, you’ll realize it quickly and get to the doctor in time.
  10. You’re hot. Some men can be pretty shallow. They won’t settle for any body, so your body must be super sexy. Otherwise, they would’ve rejected you and found themselves another “slut.”

So, why are women slut shamed in the first place?

In a controversial article called “The Evolution of Bitchiness” that was published a few years ago but has recently making the rounds across social media, The Atlantic explored what it is about being around skimpily dressed women that drives other women to be, well, bitches.

It turns out that there’s actually quite a fascination with the topic, even among prominent social scientists. From lab studies observing aggressive behavior to data analysis of the cultural suppression of female sexuality, the psychology behind why we slut shame is a hot topic not just on the streets but in the ivory tower. Here’s the gist of their findings:

  1. We want to hold on to the idea of using sex for power. And that means that women need to be in control. If men start thinking we want sex as much as they do, we worry that we’ll lose the benefit of having a high-demand bargaining tool. Because of this, we try to suppress other women’s overt expressions of sexuality in order to keep up the charade that it’s us that have something they want.
  2. We want to tear down our most successful competitors. We can’t stop the guys from going after whoever they want, but we can make it more socially costly for them to do so by indulging in gossip and trash talk. If we can successfully turn “the sexy girl” into “the slutty girl”, we’ve staved off a competitor by making her less desirable, so we often try to equate the two. Some might take being called a “slut” a compliment, but most will be put off by it.
  3. We don’t trust our boyfriends. Hands down, the study participants said that they were much less likely to want to introduce their boyfriends to the same woman when she was more skimpily dressed. Clearly, we’ve got some trust issues to work out.
  4. It’s basic economics. Remember that intro class you took your freshman year of college? When supply is low, prices go up. By policing each other to make sure that other women aren’t giving it away, women are essentially trying to preserve a higher bargaining value for sex, which usually is “paid” in the form of agreeing to long-term commitment.
  5. We’re still dependent on men to take care of us. Let’s face it. Even though it’s 2015, we’re still doing more of the housework and childcare. In return, though, men are still bringing in more of the money. And that gives women a vested interest in making sure that just like we’re tied to them, they’re tied to us. If sex is easily available elsewhere, that tie becomes less strong. Studies found that the less money a woman made, the more incentive she had to engage in slut shaming and competitive behaviors.
  6. We don’t want our man to think that other women might have higher sex drives. Because, frankly, sometimes there are things we’d rather do than have sex. And we don’t want guys to be comparing how much we want it to other women at all. If they see women dressing sexily and wonder if they’re missing out, we worry that they may start questioning their commitment. We’re not cool with that.
  7. We’re just bitchy (sometimes). Of the slut shaming behavior that she observed in the lab, social scientist Tracy Vaillancourt says in the Atlantic article linked above that ““If I ask someone to describe what this [behavior] is, they’d say it’s ‘bitchy.’” Don’t blame me. I didn’t say it. Science did.
Holly is a science fiction and horror writer, who has recently been published by Flash Fiction Press, Infective Ink, and Popcorn Press. You can find more of her nonfiction articles on All Women Stalk, The Talko, and News Cult.