Unpopular Opinion: I Really Hate Watching Sex On The Internet

Contrary to the belief of many men, it isn’t the idea of sex online I hate. If they were more tastefully done, I could totally (maybe) get on board. Here are 10 of the reasons watching sex online just doesn’t do it for me.

1. It’s not geared towards women. Maybe that is because only 1/3 of internet sex is viewed by women. Or maybe, just maybe, that is why so few of us are watching it. If the men were a little more romantic and the women a little less trashy, it might peak my interest a little more.
2. The plots are unbelievable. The last time I ended up having sex with the pizza delivery guy was probably… NEVER! When I order extra, it’s not because I’m horny, it’s because I’m hungry and need something to go with my pajamas and Netflix.
3. My boobs aren’t as perky. My butthole isn’t bleached, I don’t know how to “squirt”, and my “lips” aren’t not-existent. These aren’t women, they’re aliens, and I just can’t keep up with these unrealistic standards.
4. Real penises aren’t as big. What a tease! It just leads to disappointment when I have to the guy with the regular sized penis.
5. I hate having to compete. Since my man has sex on the brain 24/7, the only way to compete is to quit my job and have my legs spread at all hours of the day. Not gonna happen.
6. They’re so corny. If men spoke in real life the way they do in sex movies, they would never get laid. They could definitely use some better writers,  but it’s obvious they are focused more on the imagery. But as we already know, things happen for women between our ears not our eyes.
7. They raise expectations. Apparently, I’m supposed to be doing butt sex or participating in massive orgies, and I look like a prude when I won’t oblige.
8. It’s ruining real sex. Some men actually prefer this fantasy world to a real, live woman in their bed. Some others have just watched so much, they can’t even get off anymore.
9. They’re becoming way too accessible. It was super easy to avoid those disgusting adult stores on the highway, but then the Internet happened, and now it’s everywhere.
10. They don’t promote safe sex. Condoms are nowhere to be found when it comes to sex movies, and while that could be because they don’t make them large enough to fit the John Holmes of this world, they are doing nothing to help the cause. There is nothing sexy about STDs and unwanted pregnancies.

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