You know that girlfriend you have that’s always single? The one who wants to be married more than anything else but never manages to maintain a long-term relationship of any sort despite being fabulous in every way? I did too. She’s now blissfully engaged and she swears it’s down to one thing: she started to use The Law of Attraction (AKA The Secret) and manifested her perfect guy.
- What’s the Law of Attraction anyway? Simply put, the Law of Attraction (LOA) is the ability to attract into your life whatever you’re focusing on. It’s pretty widely believed that the power of the mind is boundless and you can harness this mighty force to materialize thoughts into reality. It’s worth a try, right?
- Warning: it works with negative thoughts too. If you’re negative and always think, “I’ll never find the right guy” or “I’m always dating losers,” the universe will make sure that stays true. It’s always listening and giving you what you’re telling it to give you.
- Yeah, it sounds like hocus-pocus. It might be easier to understand if you think of this universal energy like gravity. Even though you don’t see gravity, it still exists. The science-y theory is that the brain emits vibrations. This invisible frequency is a powerful force and similar frequencies get drawn together. Can’t argue with science.
- Like attracts like—keep that in mind. Have you ever noticed when one thing goes wrong in your morning, the rest of your day turns to crap and suddenly a bunch of other things go wrong too? Joellyn Wittenstein Schwerdlin explains in an article on The Career Success Coach, “The Law of Attraction responds to your negative emotions (low vibrations) by bringing you more negative situations.”
- Clearly identify what you want. My girlfriend knew she wanted to get married but didn’t concretely visualize what her husband would actually be like. She knew what she didn’t want (unemployed, womanizing, alcoholic), so she wrote down specifically what she did want in a positive tone. “My husband loves cats, is successful, loyal, with a great smile…”
- Act like you already have it. Notice she wrote “is” and not “will be.” In fact, she started being thankful and expressing gratitude for the husband she hadn’t yet met. After every disappointing “he ain’t it” date, she would think, “I’m so glad I’ve eliminated this one as a prospect to make way for the awesome one ahead.”
- Behave accordingly. She bought new bed sheets, a dual toothbrush holder, made room in her closet and dresser for his overnight stuff, started keeping beer in her fridge (even though she doesn’t touch it). She started only sleeping on one side of the bed rather than sprawled out in the middle. She made room in her life for her upcoming regular, permanent addition.
- Don’t doubt that it’s happening. You need to firmly believe that the universe will deliver on your request. Treat it like going out for dinner. You’ve decided what you’re going to eat and you’ve told the server your order. While you’re waiting for the kitchen to cook it up, you don’t sit there wondering if you’ll get what you asked for. You go about enjoying your martini, fully trusting it’s coming.
- Be patient. This is the biggest hurdle. When you don’t get instant results, you’re prone to bail on the whole concept. The key here is staying the course and ordering a second martini while you wait. Katherine Hurst writes in The Law of Attraction, “Don’t fret about when you’re going to find your soulmate. Rather, rest easy in the knowledge that you’ll find them at the perfect time.”
- Understand that there will be setbacks. It’s like going on a diet. You’re not going to suddenly eat clean all day every day, but just because you have a cookie or skip the gym, it doesn’t mean all the work you’ve done has unraveled. Don’t let yourself get sucked back into negative thinking and old bad habits. Regroup and move on.
- Don’t broadcast that you’re doing it. This can mess with the purity of its scope and opens you up for skeptics to chime in and plant seeds of doubt. My girlfriend didn’t say a peep. It’s funny because, in retrospect, I noticed little things and just let them go. Like, when I asked her if she was bringing someone to a wedding we were both attending, she said, “Not this time, but I will for next season’s events.” Turns out, that was actually true.
- Don’t take it for granted after. Even though he’s put a ring on it, she knows that her work isn’t done. She expresses gratitude for him and their life all the time. She’s now busy envisioning their wedding that, according to her, will go off without a hitch. We finished our martinis as she began asking me to be her bridesmaid. And, of course, just as our meals came to the table. BTW, they were exactly as expected. There was never a doubt.
