I Used To Hate Those Girls Who Couldn’t Shut Up About Their Guy… Until I Became One

I used to roll my eyes at women who were obsessed with their guys, especially when I was happily single. I’d been screwed over in love a lot, so there was always an added dimension of disgust and judgment there too. I had no problem hating on those who wouldn’t shut up about their guy… until I become one of them. Now, I wear my taken status loud and proud.

1. It’s not that I can’t talk about anything else, it’s just that I don’t want to. There’s a clear distinction between wanting to share things about my amazing boyfriend and how happy he makes me and being physically incapable of knowing when enough is enough. I’m usually pretty good at knowing when everyone around me is over it, but if my friends point out that I’ve turned into a one-track chick, I can easily rein it in.
2. He isn’t the only thing that makes me happy but he’s the most frequent. If my life was a complete disaster and he was the sole source of good, that would be a problem. But with everything going right for me, he just adds to my overwhelming sense of purpose and cheer. I have great friends, a good job, and know I’m a lucky girl, but every time I see him, he makes me smile for hours on end and that matters too.
3. His constant encouragement is the best pick-me-up. Of course he’s a source of comfort when I’m down, but he isn’t only around when things are going right. When I have a good day at work or a great trip with friends, he’s there to be thrilled for me, and that extra support and love of me being happy makes me even more so.
4. It feels incredible to have a guy treat me the way I deserve. I’ve been through the ringer and back when it comes to guys—controlled, abused, taken for granted, you name it. For the first time, someone is making me feel the way I always thought I should feel in a relationship and I’ll never be sorry for that. He’s respectful, he’s loving, he’s supportive and above all else, he enables me to be my genuine self. And I’m damn proud of that.
5. I’m more confident in my own skin now that he’s in my life. I’ve always been a self-assured and independent woman but being treated poorly by guy after guy did a number on my confidence. Finally being admired for who I am (and not made to be someone I’m not) has made me feel on top of the world. That confidence has made me a better partner, friend, employee, and overall person.
6. If you have a problem with my happiness, keep it to yourself. I know I’ve had my share of judging other people’s relationships, but I learned a long time ago that expressing those feelings to the actual person doesn’t get anywhere. Now that the roles are reversed, I’m sure that if someone told me I was too happy, I’d get pretty pissed. I went through enough and it’s my turn to enjoy it. Yours will come, and when it does, I won’t burst your bubble.
7. Being excited about friends’ relationships comes easier. Now that I’m content in a solid relationship myself, it’s so much easier to be happy for other people. I know that sounds obnoxious, but think about it—part of being so bitter in the past was because I was jealous! I know how it feels to have an amazing guy and that makes me all the more thrilled for my friends when they land one too.
8. Women who revolve around their men still bother me. Let me be clear—there are still some people who are so obsessed with their dudes that I can’t handle it. If you’re completely incapable of spending five minutes away from him, miss him terribly when he goes to the bathroom, and have to call him when you just left his house when I’m trying to hang out with you, I’ll still be annoyed. There’s a healthy balance between loving your guy and being infatuated, and I know which side I’m on.
9. I know that there’s a difference between bragging and sharing. Some women can’t shut up about their guy because they want to make everyone else feel like they’ll never find something as good. That’s flat out rude. You should be sharing because you want your friends to know how happy you are and remind them that there’s good out here, not because you want everyone to be jealous of you.
10. I still plan to never become truly obsessed with my guy. This might be the guy I’m with forever and it might not, I honestly don’t know. But whatever happens, I don’t intend to cross the line into obsession. I value my friendships, my job, and my life outside my guy, and he supports me having relationships outside of him. So while I may talk about him often and like to have him around, I’ll do my best to know when it’s time to shut up.