I Used To Be A Hopeless Romantic—Now I’m A Massive Cynic

Once upon a time, when I was young and innocent, I really did believe in fairytale endings. I thought I had one true love out there waiting for me. Life happened and now I know better—I’ve gone the other direction and gotten pretty damn jaded:

  1. I’ve developed a thick skin over the years. I am no longer blindly optimistic like I was when I was young. I’ve grown a shell over my once open and vulnerable heart—I protect myself more now. I’ve realized that if I’m not careful, I end up losing myself entirely to whoever I’m dating at the time.
  2. I was sweet when I was younger… then I got smart. I was such a hopeless romantic that I let every man who came along bruise my heart horribly. I trusted that they would be good to me, but I learned that not everyone is as caring and considerate as I thought. There are crappy people out there and I had to figure that out the hard way.
  3. I finally realized that love isn’t like it is in the movies. I grew up watching old romantic films and reading classic novels. I didn’t have any concept of what love was really like. My parents had an unhappy marriage so I didn’t get a realistic idea of that either—I just wanted the opposite. Now I know real love is somewhere in between the two.
  4. I had an amazingly sweet college BF and that spoiled me for the future. I had no idea how lucky I was to have a wonderful man as my first love. I thought all guys would be like him – he was my first relationship. He was so good to me that I was harshly shocked into reality when we broke up and other men were not as kind.
  5. The mistakes I’ve made over the years forced me to be more practical. Sure, I’ve gone a bit far the other way, but can you blame me? I’ve made a lot of errors and had a ton of bad luck. Now I know that I can’t jump into dating blindly with a guy who says pretty things. They usually end up meaning nothing.
  6. Love is a lot more complicated than happily-ever-after. I didn’t understand when I was younger that love doesn’t conquer all. I thought that if two people loved each other enough they could get through anything. Now I know that’s sadly not true – in fact, I’m not sure I believe anyone will ever love me enough to stick around.
  7. It’s tough to stay optimistic when every guy I meet is a disaster. I’m a very friendly and outgoing person, but I also know when I don’t click with a man. The problem is that I hardly click with anyone these days – now that I know what I want, I’m definitely not finding it. I go on bad date after bad date until I just give up.
  8. I’ve learned that healthy relationships are hard work. I’m not even sure I want to deal with all the effort, honestly. I definitely know it’ll take a special guy for me to put in the work and he has to do the same. I’ve mostly had men in my life who were incredibly lazy about maintaining our relationship. I’m over that.
  9. I’ve gotten a bit more skeptical with every awful date. It happens over and over again—a guy seems nice enough, but the date ends up being terrible. Either we don’t have any chemistry, we don’t have anything in common, or he clearly just wants to get laid. It’s disheartening and I’m getting very jaded.
  10. I’d love to believe there are still romantic men out there but I’m not seeing it. I’ve had a couple romantic men in my life, and I appreciated them greatly. Now that I’m a bit older, they all seem to have disappeared or have been snatched up by other women. I’m so cynical at this point that I’m I missed my window and all the good guys are taken.
  11. I feel that I’m better off protecting myself than staying hopeful. At this point, it seems like the prudent decision. I can’t afford to keep falling apart every time a man hurts me—I have stuff to do. I’d rather keep my walls up and deflect any possible pain than let another careless guy trample my heart.
  12. I hardly even try to find love anymore because it hasn’t served me well. Any time that I’ve actively tried to get out and meet a guy, it never happens for me. I feel like I should make an effort, but I don’t get anything out of it. Might as well sit back, live my life, and follow my own dreams. If a guy never comes along for the ride, whatever.
  13. I hope some guy proves there’s still romance in the world, but I’m not holding my breath. I can’t help but be cynical – I haven’t had anyone romantic in my life for such a long time. It’s like no one taught these men how to treat women right—it’s terribly unfortunate. A guy is probably going to have to literally sweep me off my feet at this point.
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at amyhorton.net.
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