I Used To Think That 30 Was Old, But Now That I’m There, I’m Sexier Than Ever

It wasn’t that long ago that I thought 30 was desperately old. It’s not a stretch to say I envisioned myself spending those years crocheting from a rocking chair and drinking sweet tea on the front porch. I’ve made it halfway through my fourth decade now, though, and I’m here to report that they’ve been the best years yet. Here’s why I’m more confident, self-accepting, and hotter than I ever was in my 20s:

  1. I’ve learned self-love is the best love. No matter what, the most important relationship I have is with myself. I’ve learned to treat myself with the same love that I would a boyfriend or family member. Buddha said it best with these words: “You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire Universe, deserve your love and affection.” I love myself and that fact is apparent to everyone that I meet.
  2. I’m done with comparing. If I had a dollar for every time I said, “OMG, I want her lips/skin/butt/abs/shoe size,” I’d be perpetually sipping umbrella drinks in Tahiti right now. Once I got comfortable with my 30s, I realized that women come in a zillion different shapes and sizes, and to compare myself to anyone else is a complete waste of time and energy. The more time I invested in being confident in my own skin, the more I didn’t need to hold myself up against some crazy ideal.
  3. Sex is better than ever. Gone are the days of being distracted by the fat on my hips or stifling my responses to pleasure; my 30s have gifted me with the hottest sex I’ve never had. It took me awhile to get here, but I’m now more comfortable with my body than I’ve ever been. I have a more intimate knowledge of my sexual responses, have boatloads more self-confidence, and am much more willing to communicate my sexual needs and desires with my partner. This has translated into more than my fair share of insanely brilliant sex.
  4. I know how to play. Who said that getting older meant that you had to become a stuffed shirt? I may be in my 30s now but that doesn’t mean I’ve lost my childlike spirit. While there is a ton of time to be a serious grown-up, I choose to spend as much time as I can in goofball mode. If I’m not fooling around, cracking jokes or doing something to make someone laugh each day, I’m not really living.
  5. I’ve finally settled into myself. Up until I reached my 30s, so much of my life was spent trying to fit into a mold. I now know myself; I’m familiar with my quirks, my insecurities, and my fears on a level that I didn’t know in my 20s. This has created an undeniable fearlessness when it comes to dealing with members of the opposite sex. I’m surer of myself than I’ve ever been, and I’ve sent the anxieties and hang-ups of the last decade on a permanent vacation.
  6. I’ve adopted #yolo. Where my younger years would have found me a little more conservative or stand-offish, my 30s have caused me to say, “Screw it!” more than I ever have before. I’ve learned to approach the cute guy, say what I really feel, escape on vacation or take the chance. Life is short, so I’m going to live it.
  7. It’s not perfect, but I finally love my body. It’s hard to remember the days when I would hide my stretch marks or cellulite. Your 30s move you to a place where you no longer give a damn about your body. You’re more than your body, and when you finally come to terms with this, you stop putting the pressure on yourself to be perfect. I no longer weigh myself every day and pick myself apart. I’m hot, plain and simple.
  8. I’ve accepted myself. At this point, I’ve experienced life enough to know there’s heartbreak, turmoil, and a lot of stumbles and falls. Through this, I’ve learned to be gentle on myself instead of beating myself up over my failures or mistakes. I’ve stopped resisting the hard situations and now embrace whatever comes my way, knowing that I possess the wherewithal to get through it.
  9. My taste in men finally reflects who I am. No more immature, dysfunctional relationships, and no more misinterpreting toxic behaviors as love. The low sense of worth I carried in my 20s caused me to choose partners who weren’t good for me. I looked to men to complete me and to fill a void instead of realizing my own potential and worth. It took getting to my 30s and realizing my worth, beauty and own toxic patterns to change the kind of guy that I attracted.
  10. I’ve experienced true happiness. Most of the happiness I experienced in my 20s was superficial: job promotions, gaining material possessions, and situational pleasures. The joys of living an authentic life have caused me to experience a truer, deeper sense of happiness in my thirties. It’s easier for me to stop and be present in the moment, and the gratitude that fills me is lasting. What’s more attractive than a smile?
Lauren is a freelance writer living in New Jersey. When she's not deeply immersed in pondering the cosmos, you'll find her hiking a mountain, reading something philosophical, or dancing in her underwear. Read more of her existential musings at www.laurenvenn.com