I’ve never experienced this kind of love before and it’s absolutely nothing like I thought it would be. I thought it would always feel like butterflies and resemble one of those romantic movie montages, but it turns out it’s so much more.
There were definitely butterflies, but that’s just the first stage.
The “butterflies stage” happened very early in our relationship, after we crossed the line from being just friends to dating. I never had a boyfriend I actually liked as a friend first and that was a mistake I made in past relationships. After I found out what a great person he was and how many important things we had in common, the concept of being his girlfriend (and future wife, as it turned out) made me giddier than I’ve ever been about anyone in my life.
The next stage was becoming best friends.
When we crossed the line from friends to dating, we already knew a lot about each other, but the romantic relationship inspired us to entrust each other with our deepest secrets and fears. My husband knows things about me that no one else in the world knows and vice versa. We have a ton of inside jokes that nobody else would understand, and the simplest evening together eating pizza and watching Netflix on the couch is better than any fancy date at an expensive restaurant.
I just had a feeling this would be the start of something amazing.
I can’t explain how I knew; I just did. My intuition told me that I had stumbled upon my unicorn after ceasing to believe he existed, and intuition doesn’t lie. I’m glad I listened and believed because now I know what it’s like to be with someone who truly loves and respects me.
When it’s real, saying the “L” word isn’t as scary.
In fact, we said those three little words after we’d only been dating for about a week. In the past, I was always afraid that if I dropped the L-word, I’d suddenly be staring at a giant dude-sized hole in the wall and never hear from him again. This time it was different; he said it first but we were both feeling it.
True love made me more secure, not less.
In other relationships, I was always insecure. I would wonder if the guy I was dating had issues with my body, my career accomplishments, or even my views on important issues. I was afraid that if I was too honest about who I am, I’d get dumped. My relationship with my husband has never been like that; I’ve always been able to be honest and finally be loved for exactly who I am. I’ve never been more secure.
Long term love is comfortable, and that’s a good thing.
It’s not boring; it’s comfortable in the same way that my favorite sweater is comfortable, except it’s a sweater I never have to take off. It envelopes me all the time and reminds me that I’ll never be cold and alone again. I hope everyone in the world knows this feeling at some point in their lives.
True love is constantly evolving.
My relationship isn’t the same as it was last year or the year before, and I know it won’t be the same a year from now either. The longer we spend together and the older we become, our love grows, deepens, and changes. That’s why it’s not boring. I’ve learned that it’s possible to have several different relationship dynamics with the same person over time.
Real love is imperfect.
We aren’t always in romantic moods because we’re human; we get stressed out because of work and bills just like everyone else. Sometimes we disagree and debate about issues that we’ll never agree on, but that doesn’t change the fact that we love each other. Even the truest love is imperfect because people are imperfect.
Maintaining true love can be challenging but it’s worth it.
Nothing worth having is easy and real, long-term love is just another example of that. We have to constantly maintain our relationship and keep our connection solid as our life together transpires.
This kind of love is absolutely worth it.
Butterflies are overrated anyway. It’s so much better living my life with my best friend by my side, knowing that we’re in it for the long haul. This is real life, not a movie, and I’m very fortunate to have found true love.
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