The waiting game when it comes to texting can be brutal. You run through different scenarios and outcomes in your head because you don’t know what else to do with your time. Instead of drowning yourself in worry, why don’t you try some of these mantras instead? They might help you counteract that negative thinking going on in your head.
“I’m a worthwhile human.”
It’s so easy to let your worth be defined by another person, but the truth of the matter is that you’re worthwhile just as you are. Your worth is unwavering. It stays still no matter what is happening around you. Yes, even when that person isn’t getting back to you.
“Other people’s actions or inactions don’t define my worth.”
How worthy of a human being you are doesn’t change based on if someone answers a text message or not. As I said, your worth is solid. It can’t be touched. It may feel like someone slighting you by not returning a text message is the end of the world, but I promise you’re not used up. You’re still a worthwhile human being.
“I can live my life now.”
It’s easy to get caught up in worry thoughts about what’s potentially going on. It’s also good to remember that your life is happening all around you right now! Be present with your friends, do your job the best you can, and participate in your life. Try not to get too carried away. Your life is meant to be lived.
“It’s probably not as bad as I’m thinking it is.”
The truth is that we think in absolute worst-case scenarios. The person has died, they don’t love us anymore, they’re leaving, etc. Tell yourself it’s probably not as bad as you think it is because chances are it isn’t. It’s likely a stupid or simple reason that you’ve blown out of proportion. So, take a deep breath and just wait and see what happens.
“It’s likely nothing personal.”
There’s a good chance that they’re doing something. They’re at work, hanging out with a friend, or they’re just plain old busy. It’s likely nothing personal. Even if they’re upset at you or feeling weird in any way, it could be because they had a bad day or someone said something to them. Things are rarely personal, humans tend to have a lot brewing under the surface.
“I’ll be OK no matter what.”
This one is really hard to put into practice, but it’s worthwhile. No matter what happens—if they don’t text you back, if they text you back something awful, whatever—it’s going to be OK. You’re going to survive and eventually even thrive. You don’t have to worry too much about their actions because of this. I know it’s easier said than done.
“They have their own life.”
It’s important to remember you’re texting with another person who has their own life, hobbies, job, relationships, etc. They’re busy sometimes. Remind yourself of this by telling yourself that they have a life outside of you, and this is something you really actually like about them!
“I can’t predict the future.”
It’s so easy to get carried away with projections about what they’re thinking and what they’re going to do. You think you know the deal, but really, you cannot predict the future no matter how hard you try. It generally turns out different than expected. Even if you guess right, you’re agonizing in the process. Take a deep breath and tell yourself that you have to let it go.
“Waiting won’t kill me (if it’s a reasonable amount of time).”
It might totally feel like waiting around is going to wipe you off the planet, but it’s seldom/never this dramatic. You likely won’t die waiting for a text back. You can weather the waiting by self-soothing and distracting. They’ll probably text you back eventually! But don’t wait forever.
“If waiting is a habit with this person, I don’t have to wait anymore.”
It’s normal to need to wait for text messages sometimes. It’s not normal to be waiting all the time, hours or days at a time. Unless you’re OK with that kind of texting style, you don’t have to put up with it. You can say bye-bye to this person who isn’t texting you how you should be texted.
“I’m glad I said what I needed to.”
At least you spoke your mind, saying what you needed to. You can feel comfort in knowing that you were true to yourself. You may wonder if you said the wrong thing. It’s possible, but it’s also possible that you said exactly what you had to say. You can be glad for this amongst the anxiety about why they aren’t texting back.
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