Wallflowers Have A Lot To Offer, So Don’t Count Us Out

We’ve all heard the expression, “The squeaky wheel gets the grease.” In other words, a person who loudly declares their presence will gain attention and therefore get what they’re after. It’s a fair enough concept, and a lot of us use it sometimes for business purposes, but not everyone is like that in their personal life. For some of us, acting that way all the time doesn’t feel natural or comfortable, so we don’t. We’re wallflowers, and we tend to be ignored because we don’t feel the need to loudly announce our presence whenever we walk into a room. We are, however, the best friends you’ll ever have if you take the time to talk to us. Here are some really good reasons to go talk to a wallflower today.

  1. Contrary to popular belief, we aren’t stuck up at all. One of the main reasons people cite for ignoring quiet people is that they think we seem stuck up or full of ourselves. Let me assure you that’s not the case. It’s actually more likely that we have some kind of chronic anxiety when it comes to interacting with people we don’t know. If you start a conversation and make us feel at ease, you’ll see our true personalities come out.
  2. We catch a lot of little details as outsiders that insiders may miss. When you’re in your big group laughing about some inside joke, we’re watching and observing with an entirely different perspective. You just see your group and the moment, but we see everything; we see the way others look at you and even the way members of your group look at each other. Wallflowers tend to be introverts, which means we have a tendency to study people and amuse ourselves with our social observations. If you want to be in on the joke and see everything you know through a different set of eyes, go have a conversation with a wallflower.
  3. We have a lot of love to give, because we keep our circles small. Wallflowers typically keep a very small circle of trusted friends and family, much smaller than most peoples’ social circles. That keeps it from getting too overwhelming for us, but it also means that we’re really devoted to anyone who makes the short list. If you’ve ever complained that you just can’t find a loyal friend, you’ve probably never talked to the quiet girl.
  4. We’re great listeners. People who choose to speak less words listen more, and we become really good at it. Sometimes, when life has you down, you just need to talk to someone who will hear you and understand you. That’s when your introverted friend will be a valuable asset. We’ll let you pour it all out and then help you make sense of the pieces because that’s what we’re good at (and because we care).
  5. We’re also great lovers. We aren’t built for mass appeal, but we’re dynamic in a comfortable one-on-one situation. We have so much passion inside us and it’s usually pent up, so if you can find the magic button to unlock that level of comfort, you better buckle your seat belt, because it’s going to be a wild ride. Don’t take advantage of us, though. If we don’t already have trust issues, we certainly don’t need them.
  6. We want to talk about ourselves too. We just wait for somebody to show interest before putting it all out there. Everyone enjoys talking about their hopes and dreams, so please do listen if you’re so inclined. We’re happy to share once we’re comfortable.
  7. We’re not going to judge you. We know how it feels to be judged and excluded, so we won’t do that to you. If we’ve made the decision to keep you in our circle, it’s because we see something good in you. We know nobody’s perfect and we have no such expectation.
  8. We don’t want to change. We’ve always been this way, so we’re comfortable with ourselves. We don’t want lessons on how to attract more meaningless attention. What we really want is to be understood and appreciated for the beautiful person we are inside. Once you talk to us and spend some time, you’ll see that beauty too.
Anna Martin Yonk is a freelance writer and blogger in sunny North Carolina. She loves hanging out with her goofy husband and two rescue dogs and can be found at the beach with a drink in hand whenever possible. You can find her on Instagram @mrsyonkdogmom or on her Facebook page.