There’s nothing wrong with wanting a relationship and someone to spend your life with — that’s human nature. That being said, it’s inevitable that there will be times in your life when you’re on your own, whether by choice or not. That’s why it’s so important to learn how to be happy alone, and cutting these habits out ASAP will help you get there.
1. Comparing your life to everyone else’s
Social media makes this way too easy, of course, but you really shouldn’t fall into this trap. Just because it seems like everyone is going on month-long exotic vacations and staying at 5-star hotels, buying new houses and cars, wearing designer clothes, getting married, etc. etc. doesn’t mean a) that’s a real depiction of their lives as a whole or b) you need to be on the same trajectory. You have no idea what’s really going on behind the scenes — people love to present a curated version of their existence to the world, so don’t be fooled and don’t compare yourself to anyone else.
2. Obsessing over your exes
When you’re alone and unhappy, it’s way too easy to start thinking maybe you should have stayed with your toxic ex. Who cares if they cheated on you, lied to your face, made you feel unloved, cheated on you, yada yada… At least you wouldn’t be by yourself, right? Wrong. Consider this a verbal slap in the face to come back to reality. Isn’t it so much better to be happy alone than to be utterly miserable with someone who clearly doesn’t deserve you?
3. Want a partner? Attract love with the power of your mind.
Sweetn is a new research-based startup that shows you how to call love into your life with the power of your mind. Take our quiz, and try our tools—they can transform your energy and your love life in a few weeks. Just click here.
4. Needing validation from other people
Your life is your own, and hopefully the choices you’re making are ones that you’re happy with. If so, does it really matter if everyone else agrees or approves of them? Nope, it doesn’t. Needing other people to validate you, your choices, or your life as a whole shows that you don’t respect yourself and your self-esteem is seriously lacking. If you feel good about where you’re at, you’re good. It really is as simple as that.
5. Overfilling your schedule
You’re never going to be happy alone if you do everything in your power to avoid ever having to be. Sure, learning to enjoy your own company is a process, for many people, but it’s one that’s so worth undertaking because the results will pay dividends for the rest of your life. You don’t always have to be busy or doing something or hanging out with other people. It’s not just okay to chill at home solo, it’s probably good for you.
6. Spending your life on your phone
I get it — we all spend too much time on our phones. It’s like our whole lives are on there at this point. However, putting it down or turning it off every now and then will free up your time and attention for other things. Maybe those things are sprucing up your living space or practicing a creative hobby you have; maybe it’s going to the gym or taking a walk or taking yourself out to lunch with a book. Whatever the case, putting away the distraction of your phone to give yourself your full attention is one of the best things you could do.
7. Not practicing self-care
I know at this point self-care feels like a bit of a dirty word, or at least a really corny one. It’s not that the actual practice is a bad thing — in fact, it’s 100% necessary — but rather that it’s been so overused as a buzz word that it’s kinda lost all meaning. That being said, avoiding self-care is a mistake (cue Donald Trump here: “Big mistake. Huge.”) that will come back to bite you in the bum sooner rather than later. The more time you spend making sure you’re in a good place mentally and emotionally, the better you’ll feel with yourself. Duh.
8. Believing loneliness is inevitable
It annoys me when single people act like being on their own is the worst punishment that could ever be put upon a human being. There’s a major difference between being alone and loneliness, and they’re certainly not mutually exclusive. You can not be in a romantic relationship and feel completely whole and fulfilled (as you should), just as you could be part of a couple and never have felt more isolated. Quit the pity party and acting like you’re so unloved just because you’re not sleeping with someone.
9. Putting your life on hold until you meet someone
One of the easiest habits to incorporate into your life if you want to be happy alone is to really live your life to the fullest. You don’t need to wait until you’re in a relationship to go the places you want to go, do the things you want to do, etc. The world is literally your oyster — you don’t need to be part of a “we” in order to crack it open. Tomorrow literally isn’t guaranteed and you never know what’s just around the corner, so don’t waste a second.
10. Letting fear rule your decision-making
Sometimes you just have to take more risks in life. If you don’t, you end up treading water, stuck in a rut and feeling lost and miserable. It doesn’t have to be like that! What’s the worst that could happen if you make a decision that doesn’t work out? You fall, you get back up, you learn from it, and you keep on going. It’s really as simple as that.
