Whether you come from a big family and never spent much time solo as a kid or you’re a serial dater who’s hopped from relationship to relationship in your adult life, figuring out how to enjoy your own company can be tough. You probably know it’s not realistic or healthy to be with other people 24/7, but that doesn’t make it any less uncomfortable if you’re not used to being alone.
That being said, it’s a valuable skill that will not only make those periods when partners, friends, siblings, or colleagues aren’t around much less painful but will ultimately make you a happier, more self-sufficient person who doesn’t just cope with alone time, you’ll thrive on it.
1. Shift your perspective.
If you’re someone who dreads any occasion when you won’t be with other people, you’re looking at it all wrong. Solo time shouldn’t be the result of no one being available to hang out — it should be a regular part of your existence that you actually look forward to when it happens. After all, you’re the person who knows you best — why wouldn’t you want to spend time that person? Start seeing solo time as an opportunity rather than a punishment and you’ll learn how to enjoy your own company pretty quickly.
2. Understand the difference between loneliness and being alone.
They are not the same thing. Just as you can feel lonely in a crowded room, you can (and should) also feel completely content and at peace when it’s just you. Being alone doesn’t mean being full of desperation and sadness. Loneliness isn’t an unavoidable side effect here. Don’t fear being on your own because you think it’ll destroy you mentally and emotionally. It might just make you feel relaxed and really happy — at least with a bit of practice!
3. Put your phone down and step away from social media.
If you’re someone who does feel crappy about yourself and your life a lot and experience serious FOMO when you’re not doing something, it could partially be down to how much time you’re spending on the likes of Instagram, TikTok, etc. People constantly post their highlight reels online, making it look like they’re always having the BEST TIME EVER when in reality, they have downtime too. If you want to stop feeling so bad about your own quiet periods, step away from your phone for a bit.
4. Want a partner? Attract love with the power of your mind.
Sweetn is a new research-based startup that shows you how to call love into your life with the power of your mind. Take our quiz, and try our tools—they can transform your energy and your love life in a few weeks. Just click here.
5. Learn to appreciate your own company.
Before you can enjoy your own company, you have to learn how to appreciate it. Life is incredibly hectic. Between work, family/partners if you have either, and basic adulting responsibilities, many of us don’t get much time to actually do our own thing. That’s why it’s important to see time on your own as a gift rather than a burden. You can get refocus and recenter your energy and will go back out into the world feeling totally refreshed. What’s not to love about that?
6. Take a trip on your own.
Nothing gets you more acquainted with yourself than extended time when you’re the one calling the shots. If there’s somewhere you’ve always wanted to go and you have the financial means to make it happen, plan that trip! Even if it’s just a weekend away, heading off to a new location where you can do whatever you want, whenever you want is a great way to get in touch with yourself, learn new things about the world around you, and simply enjoy being with you.
7. Practice gratitude (but avoid toxic positivity).
There’s so much to be grateful for in our lives, and the more we realize that, the happier we are in general. Part of figuring out how to enjoy your own company is by examining this time in tandem with all of the things that exist in the rest of your life. For example, you have an incredible group of friends, a supportive family, hobbies and interests you love, a job you’re passionate about, etc. That fills many of your waking hours, so solo time, when it comes, is an added bonus. There’s so much to be thankful for — and time to yourself is another aspect of that.
8. Sit with your sad emotions.
There’s no use pretending that you’re not going to have times when you do feel lonely. You might go through a few weeks or months where you’re on your own more than you’d like to be and it’s starting to get to you. Recognize that it’s totally valid and natural to feel that way. Don’t try to pretend otherwise or berate yourself for not being independent enough to be jazzed about being alone 24/7. That’s unrealistic and pretty silly. Sit with the sad times when they come — over time, they’ll become rarer and less powerful.
9. Develop some new hobbies and interests.
It’s hard not to enjoy your own company when you’re filling your alone time with stuff you love to do. Maybe you want to learn a new language or you’re intrigued by some crocheting tutorials you spotted on YouTube. Doing things you really love helps you love yourself more too. You’ll feel capable and fulfilled,
10. Make your home a space where you love spending time.
Not that your solo time has to be spent within the confines of your four walls, but there’s something extra cozy and comforting about grabbing a fluffy blanket, ordering some Uber Eats, and watching a reality TV marathon on a rainy day that’s so satisfying. The more comfortable and personalized you make your living space, the more you’ll love being there — even if it’s just you.
11. Take yourself out to dinner or for a drink.
Who says you can’t date yourself? While a lot of people are uncomfortable getting a table for one, it’s totally normal and really nothing to be embarrassed about. Bring a book with you while hitting up your local bar for a happy hour drink, or book yourself in for lunch at a fancy restaurant you always wanted to try and savor every bite. Treat yourself the way you want a romantic partner to treat you — you deserve it.
12. Work with a therapist.
If you really do struggle with being alone, there’s no shame in seeking professional help. Working through the reasons you’re having such a hard time will be much easier with a qualified mental health professional, who can not only get to the root of the issue but also help you with coping skills and strategies to change the situation.
