If You Want To Be In The Relationship You Deserve, Do These Things

There’s no magic spell or key to finding the perfect relationship, but there are certain things that you can do and ways that you can act that will make it more likely that you’ll end up in one that’s worthy of you. If you want to increase your chances of finding someone great, do these things.

  1. Don’t waste time on guys that you know are wrong for you. Even if you really like a guy or you have tons fo fun with him, if you know you couldn’t be in a serious relationship with him, you have to let him go. If you want to be in the relationship you deserve, stop messing around with the wrong guys because you might be too distracted to notice the right one. You might think it’s no big deal to hang out with guys that don’t measure up to your standards while waiting to meet the right person, but it’s much more beneficial to focus on yourself and be completely ready when it happens.
  2. Be open to new people that have different interests than yours. Many women tend to get stuck in a rut where they continue dating the same types of guys over and over and are shocked when it doesn’t work out. That’s literally the definition of insanity. Sometimes the right guy for you is someone you never would have imagined, someone completely different from your usual “type.” I’m not saying date you should date complete weirdos or dudes who are scary or creepy, but be open to dating someone who doesn’t fit your usual mold.
  3. Make sure you’re healed from any past traumas and are seriously ready to be in a healthy, happy relationship. We all deserve to find love and be with someone who has a positive impact in our lives, but it doesn’t hurt to double-check to see that you’re really ready for a serious relationship yourself. If you have any reservations or issues you need to work through, start tackling them now so that when the right guy does come along, you’re truly ready to be a good partner.
  4. Be honest from the beginning about what you want and what you expect from any potential partners. Playing relationship games is so over and being honest never goes out of style. Guys truly appreciate it when you’re upfront and real about what you’re looking for and what you expect from being in a relationship with them. Plus, by being honest and straightforward about what you’re looking for, you’ll be able to weed out anyone who isn’t ready to be in the kind of relationship you deserve.
  5. Don’t give any of your exes a second chance. There’s a reason your relationship with your ex ended and it’s likely to resurface and happen again if you give him another chance at being with you. Honestly, there are very few examples in which getting back with an ex worked out long-term. Stop re-reading the same book if the ending isn’t what you deserve—move on to a new book and don’t look back.
  6. Work on developing great communication skills. It can be difficult to communicate effectively with other people, especially when we’re nervous or feel uncomfortable to do so at the beginning of a relationship. Just like any other skill, communication takes practice and the more that you try to communicate in an open and honest way, the easier it will become. This will benefit you in many aspects of your life, but it will also be beneficial when you find someone who has the potential to be your boyfriend.
  7. Seriously think about what it is that you want from a relationship and your partner. Not making an effort to truly decide what kind of relationship and partner you want will make it harder for you to be in the relationship you deserve. Know what and who you’re looking for, otherwise, you might not know it when you do meet the right person.
  8. Be yourself and don’t apologize for it. The relationship you deserve is with someone who not only knows and accepts the real you but loves you for it. Don’t waste time pretending to be anyone who you’re not. You’ll never meet the right guy for who you actually are that way. Being unapologetically yourself from the beginning will save you a lot of time and energy because you’ll figure out right away if your true personalities clash.
  9. Don’t make finding a relationship your entire life’s purpose. Also, rethink the old saying taht “you’ll find love when you’re not looking.” It’s hard, but ideally, you should try to find a balance between the two. It’s fine to look for love and to go out on dates, but you definitely shouldn’t make finding a boyfriend your top priority and the only thing you’re concerned about. If you do, you’ll come off as needy and desperate and dating will become stressful rather than fun and light-hearted. The best thing to do is to be optimistic about finding a relationship that you deserve but also to enjoy the present moment and be happy with your life as it is. That way, when you do find the right person, you’ll be in a much better mindset. You won’t settle for just any guy that seems like he might be able to be a good partner.
Kerry is a freelance writer from Boston, Massachusetts who now lives in the Sunshine State with the love of her life and her 15 month old daughter. She writes frequently about her personal experiences (find more of her work on www.followmetogetlost.wordpress.com). She has an Etsy shop with cute items: https://www.etsy.com/shop/FollowMeToGetLostWhen she's not writing, she loves to spend time outside, at the beach, and with her family.