I Believe In Love, But I’m Terrified I’ll Never Find It

Believing in  true love is both beautiful and terrible. On one hand, you know that it’s going to be amazing if you find it. On the other hand, that ominous “if” is always echoing through your mind. True love may sound incredible in theory, but these are some of the more worrying thoughts that cross your mind when you believe in it:

  1. Is love really worth the risk? You keep trying to find love, but all you ever end up with is a broken heart. You continue to put yourself back out there, banking on the idea that someday this risk will be worth the reward, but what if it isn’t? What if you never find love and just keep getting your heart broken instead?
  2. Some people do end up alone. That’s a fact you can’t really ignore. You’ve known people who live their whole lives and never get married, settle down, or find someone even remotely resembling a soulmate. Those lonely souls do exist, and who’s to say you’re not one of them?
  3. You’re depending on fate. What comforts you at night is that fate will see you through. If it’s meant to be then it will be. At least, that’s what you tell yourself. But what if your destiny isn’t what you have in mind? You try to take your life into your own hands, but at the same time, you’re scared when you think about how you can’t control everything.
  4. What if you’re just unlucky? Not everyone has the best luck when it comes to love. In fact, your dating history is proof of that. You never know how to spot Mr. Wrong, and you keep waiting for Mr. Right, but with your misfortune, he may never come.
  5. Settling isn’t an option. Not when you believe in something as amazing as true love, anyway. You want it all and you’re not willing to settle for anything less than a fairytale romance. You don’t want to settle down if it’s not with the right guy, because when you believe in true love, you know that it’s worth waiting for. The problem, of course, is that this means you’ll probably end up single for a very, very long time.
  6. What if the man you’re meant to be with is already with someone else? People end up with the wrong partners every single day. So what if your partner is already married to someone else? What if he never realizes that she’s not the girl he’s meant to be with? You believe in true love, but you can’t help but worry about the ones who settle for less.
  7. You’re not afraid to be single; you’re afraid to be forever alone. It’s not that you don’t know how to be single or that you’re not a strong, independent woman. It’s not about right now. It’s about the future. You’re perfectly fine with being on your own… you’d just rather not be on your own for the rest of your life.
  8. True loves waits. Unfortunately, that’s one of those things that’s easy to say, but hard to put into practice. You want it to just come easy, but something as amazing as love comes at a steep cost. You’re willing to wait for The One, but you’re afraid of how long he’ll keep you waiting.
  9. Just because you deserve it doesn’t mean you’ll get it. That’s the thing about love: it’s just not fair. In reality, almost everyone on this Earth deserves true love, but how many of those people actually get it? Furthermore, how do you know if you’ll be one of the lucky few that does find true love? You know you deserve it, but you’re still not confident you’ll get it, and that’s a hard truth to swallow.
  10. There are way too many fish in the sea. When you’re single, people like to remind you of how many guys are out there. They’re telling you that there are so many people left and you’re bound to find someone, but will he be the right one? When you believe in true love, that means that out of all those billions of fish in the sea, you’re only looking for one. It’s a sea of Mr. Wrongs and you’re looking for the only Mr. Right. Somehow, that’s not very comforting.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.