You and your ex broke up for a good reason, but that hasn’t stopped you from considering reaching out to him. In your head, you don’t think it can do any harm and that it’s no big deal, but is it actually a good idea? Here are a few things to consider before you contact your ex to help you figure out if you’re better off staying silent rather than making a big mistake.
- How long has it been? If you just broke up last week and you already want to contact him, put down your phone. It’s way too soon to be talking to your ex at this point in time. Even if you ended things on relatively good terms and both still love each other, that doesn’t mean you should jump right back into being pals. You need time to process what happened and deal with your emotions. Wait until you’ve given one another adequate space to sorta go through those emotions and get to a good place before you strike up a conversation.
- Have you truly moved on? It’s all fine and well to convince yourself that you’re over your ex and would be totally fine talking to him, but is that actually the case? If you’re not truly over it but you contact him anyway, you could be setting yourself up for failure and majorly setting back your healing process by reopening wounds that haven’t even fully healed.
- Does he still have feelings for you? On the flip side, what are his feelings for you at this point? Obviously when you haven’t spoken to someone, it’s pretty hard to know exactly where they stand, but if you think there’s even a small chance that he could still be in love with you or not quite over your relationship, it’s not fair to make contact with him. It’s not all about what you want to do – you have to consider what’s best for him too.
- Do you actually have anything to say to him? It’s all fine and well to text your ex, but what are you going to say? If your entire game plan centers on being like, “Hey, what’s up?” and you have nothing else to add, you’re better off waiting it out for a while. If you’re going to contact your ex, there should be a reason for it. I know you were friends as well as lovers before, but this isn’t the time for small talk.
- Are you only reaching out because you’re lonely? This can be a hard pill to swallow and you may not want to admit it to yourself, but are you only wanting to get in touch again because you’re feeling lonely and sick of being single? Those are totally normal feelings and there’s no shame in them, but that shouldn’t be the reason you revisit the past.