If You Want To Date Me, You’ll Have To Accept My Guy Friends

If You Want To Date Me, You’ll Have To Accept My Guy Friends ©iStock/svetikd

Before I met you, I had a life. I had friends, family and career. What you need to know is that if I agree to date you, I’m not giving any of that up. I’ve always had a lot of male friends and they’re just as important as my girlfriends, so if you want to date me, you gotta get with my friends — regardless of their gender.

  1. When it comes to friends, gender shouldn’t matter. Would you be asking this if they were girls? Just because they’re guys and I’m a heterosexual girl doesn’t mean there’s anything to be worried about. I have no more feelings for them than I do my girlfriends, they just happen to have penises. Is that really why you’re worried?
  2. I’m not giving up anyone I love just to be with you. I shouldn’t have to give up my life just for you and you shouldn’t ask me to. That’s not a very good start to our relationship. We both came into this relationship with lives of our own and the only way we’ll survive is if we both accept those lives. You have your friends and I have mine. Both are of equal importance.
  3. Men and women can be just friends. If you think that guys and girls are only meant to have relationships built on sleeping together and not on friendship, then the only problem here is you. Honestly, you need to grow the hell up. I’ve been friends with my boys since childhood and if nothing has happened yet, why do you still think it will?
  4. Even if my guy friends were interested in me, I’m not interested in them. Guys are constantly complaining about being stuck in the friend zone and that’s exactly where any of my friends would be with me. I’m not interested in anything more than their friendship. If we’re dating then I’m obviously interested in you and only you — why don’t you believe that?
  5. If we’re going to be together, then you have to trust me. Relationships are built on trust and this makes it pretty damn clear that you don’t trust me. I haven’t done a single thing to make you believe you can’t trust me, so give me the benefit of the doubt. You might not trust them but you should trust me, because if you can’t trust your girlfriend then we shouldn’t be dating…
  6. You can have female friends too. I’m not going to sit here as a hypocrite proclaiming that you have to be cool with my guy friends while I force you to ditch all your girls. I’m happy you have girlfriends. Actually having friends who are girls has probably taught you a lot about being a good boyfriend. I see the positive here, so why can’t you?
  7. I need you to be confident. I want a guy who will be confident in the fact that I have feelings for him. Not just confident in the way I feel, confident about our relationship too. I want a guy who won’t be scared off by me having friends of a different gender, because if we can’t even get through this, how will our relationship ever survive?
  8. My friends have always been there. You’re the new factor in my life here, so you should be trying to figure out how you fit in, not how to edge them out. These guys are my friends and they always will be. If you can’t accept that, then it’s you who’s out of my life… for good.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.