I Want To Find My Forever Person, But What If I Never Do?

I’ve been single and dating for several years now and one thing’s for sure: I definitely want to find someone to spend the rest of my life with. It doesn’t matter how many bad dates and awkward situations I’ve experienced, I’ve never stopped wanting to fall in love again. Of course, there’s a very real chance that this just isn’t in the cards for me. Here’s what will happen if I’m single for the rest of my life:

  1. I’ll always wonder “what if”? If I never find someone to spend my life with, I’m always going to wonder why it never happened for me. I’ll always wonder what could have changed if I had just done a few things differently. Should I have said goodbye to dating apps and tried to meet guys the old-fashioned way? Should I have asked more people to set me up? Would anything have changed my fate?
  2. I’ll probably wish that I had settled. Sorry to say this but it’s the honest truth. I am definitely against settling and I believe that you need to feel something for a guy or else you should never date him. But, if I never meet my forever person, I’m always going to wish that I had tried harder with other guys that I’ve dated. I will wish that I wasn’t so hard on someone for rescheduling plans all the time or that I had somehow found a way to make it work.
  3. I’ll throw myself into my work. My job can always comfort me when I’m thinking about the not-so-fabulous parts of being single. I would definitely become a workaholic and try to find the joy and satisfaction in that. It might take a while but eventually, it would feel like enough for me.
  4. I’ll treasure my non-romantic relationships even more. Of course, I always want to care for and about my family and friends no matter what my relationship status, and this would become even more true if I was always living the solo life. These people have always been there for me and the best part is they would never make me feel bad about never meeting anyone.
  5. I’ll fight against the bitterness every step of the way. I’ve seen women never meet their person and become bitter. They truly believe that they’re alone and that the universe has wronged them somehow. I would never want to be that way.
  6. I’ll stop thinking that there’s something more. Being single AF always means wondering if there is something “more” — if I’m supposed to be in love, to have a partner to share my life with, to think about the future and maybe even a family. If I never find anyone who fits that role, I’ll have to stop thinking that I need or want anything extra. I’ll believe that my life is great the way that it is.
  7. I’ll think that online dating just doesn’t work. As a single girl who never meets guys on a regular basis, online dating has been my saving grace when it comes to finding dates. Without it, I would never have the opportunity to go on any dates at all, and so I’ve learned to see it as a necessary part of my life. But, if I never find my forever person, I would think that online dating is a total lie and no one ever meets that way (whether or not that’s actually true).
  8. I’ll wonder if other couples are truly happy. Sure, this might be a totally egotistical thing, but I will look at the couples that I know and wonder if they have found their forever person in each other… or if they just didn’t want to be alone any longer. And on my bad days, I’d actually agree that the latter isn’t the worst idea in the world.
  9. I’ll eventually come to terms with it. At first, I’ll definitely be pretty much devastated that this whole dating thing didn’t work out for me. Then I’ll cross over into just okay and will eventually be completely fine with it. It may sound crazy but life is honestly way too short to focus on the things that I don’t have. I’m going to focus on who and what make me happy instead.
  10. I’ll give up at a certain point and leave dating behind forever. I don’t want to be the single and dating girl for the rest of my life. There have been enough crappy dates and I’ve been ghosted enough for a lifetime. At a certain point, I would delete my apps — but not because I finally had a boyfriend. Because I’ll finally have had enough of the whole dating thing and will want to live my life in total peace.
Aya Tsintziras is a freelance lifestyle writer and editor from Toronto, Canada. In addition to writing about dating and relationships for Bolde, she also writes about movies, TV, and video games for ScreenRant and GameRant. She has a Political Science degree from the University of Toronto and a Masters of Journalism from Ryerson University. You can find her on Twitter @ayatsintziras and on Instagram @aya.tsintziras.