I Want To Find My Forever Person, But Not For A Few Years

I believe in soulmates and have no doubt that I’ll be in happily coupled up someday. I seriously can’t wait until I meet the person I’ll be spending the rest of my life with — I just think I need a few more years to myself before it happens.

  1. I have lots of energy now and I should be taking advantage of that. I’ll never have more energy than I do in my mid-20s, so I’d better get moving and do all the things I want to do now without having a partner to slow me down. I get that my forever person should want to do all the things I want to, but we all know that’s not usually how it goes. Sacrifices need to be made on a daily basis in a relationship, and I’m not ready for that — at least not yet.
  2. I want to know what it’s like to date everyone. I want to sample the menu before choosing just one dish. I think I know my type, but that’s only based on the guys I’ve dated. How can I know who’s right for me if I don’t try dating every guy I’m interested in?
  3. I feel like 30 is the perfect age to meet “The One.” If you look at any movie or TV show, most of the time when a character is looking for their soulmate, they’re over 30. That tends to be when the need for a stable partner starts to kick in. As a 20-something, I’m just looking for a good time.
  4. Right now, I just want to have fun. As I said above, I’m just looking for a good time, and more importantly, I want to have fun and these are the best years to do it. This is my chance to meet new people, travel, and do things I’ve always wanted to do but have never tried. I have complete freedom right now and I’m not ready to give that up.
  5. I’m at an age where partying all night is still totally appropriate. When you’re in a relationship, doing things like getting drunk and staying up all night starts to lose its appeal because you have something better — each other. I know that if I found my forever person now, I’ll get so blinded by the love that I’ll forget how to really have fun and miss out on my glory years. This is why I want to wait a few years.
  6. I don’t want to waste my time with a relationship when I could be working on my career. This is probably the most important point. In your early 20s, it’s appropriate to just let loose and discover things and have fun. Now that I’m nearing 30, I need to get my butt in gear (while still having fun, of course). If I don’t put the work in now, I’m going to regret it later and having to worry about someone else is only going to distract me from building my career.
  7. I don’t think I’m emotionally ready for my soulmate right now anyway. Let’s face it — I have a lot of stuff I need to deal with, specifically when it comes to my mental and emotional health. I don’t think I’m emotionally stable enough right now to handle an adult relationship. I’m excited for it to come eventually, but I know I’ll appreciate it a lot more when I’m actually ready for it.
  8. I’m still discovering myself. I don’t know what I need in a relationship yet, heck I don’t even know what I should wear half the time. If I don’t know myself, then how is my “forever person” supposed to come into my life? I want them to love me for me and I mean the real, authentic me. I’m willing to wait until I know who I am before committing to someone, potentially forever.
  9. I know I have lots of time. My family likes to scare me into thinking that I’d better lock someone down soon so I don’t end up single and alone for the rest of my life, but I know that when I find the right person, it won’t take years of dating them before we commit to each other for the long-term or get engaged. It’ll happen quickly if we’re really right for each other.
  10. I’m all I need at the moment. Maybe the reason I don’t want to find my soulmate yet is because I don’t necessarily feel like I need them right now. Right now all I need is myself, but no one wants to be alone forever. Once I start feeling like I need the support, I know that love will fall right into my lap.
Jennifer is a playwright, dancer and theatre nerd living in the big city of Toronto, Canada.