If You Want To Find A Great Boyfriend, You Have To Become A Great Girlfriend First

So you want a boyfriend who showers you with affection, treats you like a goddess and goes the extra mile for you — who doesn’t? Before that can happen, though, you have to consider what you’re bringing to the table in return. After all, if you want an amazing boyfriend, you have to become an amazing girlfriend first. Here’s why:

  1. Like attracts like. When you work on becoming the best person you can be, you attract like-minded people. It’s a fact. If you’re making lots of demands on partners without meeting them halfway, you’re going to attract guys who do a half-ass job to keep you happy. Not cool. Don’t just put what you want out there, but be what you want to attract from others. So, you want the guy who works on his body at the gym every day? Time to strap on those sneakers, girl, and be the booty you want to receive.
  2. You need to work for it. Sorry, but nothing good was ever free. If a relationship is going to work, both parties need to bring their best game. Same goes for meeting your future boyfriend. You need to be willing to be the best you can be if you want the same from a man. Relationships are a two-way street, not a one-way road. Those eventually just lead to dead-ends.
  3. You’ll stop holding out for the idea of perfection. When you realize that you’ve got to work on yourself if you expect a guy to improve himself, it’s quite humbling. You see that there’s no way you’ll ever be perfect, which means guys aren’t perfect either. And that’s perfectly okay. You’re just two awesome people trying to make it work, so those unrealistic expectations can fall away.
  4. You won’t actually need a great BF. A funny thing happens when you try to be the best woman and GF you can. You realize that you actually don’t need a man, perfect or not. That’s really just a bonus because you’re so awesome on your own.
  5. You’ll become way more confident. Focusing on being a better, stronger woman is not just about attracting the same qualities in a partner, but also about being better in your life in general. Walking with your head held high, knowing that you’re kick-ass because you’ve done the work to be and achieving your dreams is an awesome high! And when you’re confident, you send out really sexy vibes to the guys.
  6. You’ll weed out the crappy guys. You know what you want in a partner and you know the kind of partner you want to be. That prevents you from wasting time on guys who mess you around or make you think you have to downgrade yourself to keep them. Hell no.
  7. You’ll get to the heart of what you really want. Ask yourself, are the qualities you want in a partner all that important? You might realize that actually, no, you don’t need someone who has the latest beemer or travels the world but has kindness, loyalty and a kick-ass sense of humor. Also ask yourself how you’d feel if a guy wanted you to be filthy rich yet totally ignored the fact that you’re so awesome. crappy, for sure.
  8. You’ll stop limiting yourself. Okay, look, knowing what you want in a guy is awesome, but if you have a detailed list that’s quite ridiculous — like that he must be a certain height, have a certain eye color and cry after watching Meryl Streep movies — you’re limiting yourself. What about the guys who don’t fit those picky points but are amazing? You could be missing out on them. Be amazing by being open-minded and you’ll attract some nice surprises.
  9. You’ll know what you’re bringing to the table. If you work on yourself and try to be the best partner you can, you know what you’re bringing to a relationship every time. It’s empowering because when the minute a guy isn’t meeting you halfway, you’ll stop wasting your time on him.
  10. You won’t settleA big reason why women settle is that their guys changed. They were awesome in the beginning during the chase, then fizzled into disappointment. These women are so focused on the guy changing that they don’t realize they have the power to change themselves. Sometimes no matter how awesome and strong you are, the guy you’re with isn’t going to be. But by being aware of your amazing qualities and how your partner isn’t meeting you halfway, you can GTFO of unhappy situations.
  11. You’ll finally your worth. There’s nothing better than knowing your flaws and strengths in relationships. It helps you figure out what you can realistically expect from a partner in return. You know you’re kind and will support your BF, so you will want a partner who does the same for you because you’re worth it. You’re not just thinking of what a guy must do for you but how you can nurture each other, and that’s where the good stuff is because two people who know their worth make a relationship work.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.