I Want To Find Love But I’m So Sick Of Bars

I’m a strong, independent woman and I’m not afraid to admit that I want to find love. I’m actively looking for “The One” but I’m getting tired of it all. When you’re a single lady, it’s all about nights out with the girls looking for Mr. Right, but unfortunately for me, I’m sick AF of the bar scene. Here’s why:

  1. I hate spending money when it only lasts a night. Alcohol doesn’t come cheap and I’m a woman on a budget. I’m saving for my future while also paying my own bills. I’m an independent woman and I hate seeing all those dollars signs at the end of the night. I’d rather spend my money on things that are actually going to last. Even just one drink can be expensive AF and if a night is going to cost me, I at least want to get more out of it than a potential hangover.
  2. I’m a homebody. The truth is, I don’t like going out in general. Every once in a while is okay but other than that, I prefer to stay in. I have hobbies and they’re not about drinking consistently. I’d rather just hang out with friends than go out with them, but even my social time has its limits. I’m an introvert at heart so I need my alone time, but honestly what I really want is a guy who can be a homebody too.
  3. There’s too much pressure and it can ruin a good time. I feel like whether nights out with the girls are successful depends on whether or not we met a guy. If one of my friends met someone, they’re happy; if they didn’t, they’re sad. We’re putting so much pressure on our free time that I can never have a stress free good time. I just want to be able to hang out with my girls without the worry and that seems to be impossible at a bar.
  4. Drunk guys are the worst. Alcohol might be liquid confidence but that’s not always a good thing. Guys get touchy, they drop lame lines, and they get angry if a girl isn’t interested. I’m sure there are good guys out at the bars who actually know how to control their alcohol consumption but maybe they’re just too afraid to come up to girls. At least, that’s been my experience. I just wish there were some other setting to meet people—and I don’t mean online.
  5. I really hate crowds. Being in a hot and crowded bar just isn’t my idea of a good time. I prefer nights with just a few of my close friends over a night at the bar where there’s barely room to stand. I’m a huge fan of the personal space bubble and crowded bars don’t really allow that. There are too many people, too much commotion, and overall just too much discomfort for me to have a good time.
  6. I never meet the right type of guy at the bar. The guys who come up to me at bars are always narcissistic losers. They think they’re all that and a bag of chips just because they have some alcohol in them. They don’t want to meet a girl, they just want to get laid and impress their friends. I want a nice guy who’s confident but humble and it appears that guys like that just don’t hang at the bar. At least, not the guys I meet or the bars I go to.
  7. I don’t want anything casual. Too bad for me it seems like while I’m looking for love, everyone else is looking for a hookup. I’m not into casual sex, so where does that leave me? I don’t care how good of a time I’m having or how much of a spark I feel. No matter what, I’m not going home with a guy I just met and unfortunately, most guys don’t want to wait.
  8. I’m sick of drinking. Every weekend at the bar just doesn’t appeal to me anymore. I’m not some college kid who just came of age. I don’t want to get wasted anymore but I also don’t want to be the only sober person in the bar. I know that alcohol can relieve the nerves of meeting someone new, but drinking all the time is getting real old real fast.
  9. I wish my friends would sometimes want to do something else. Does every night really have to be a mission to find a man? I miss the days where we could just have a good time without any consideration to the male population. It feels like bar nights searching for potential life partners has become our whole life. I love my girls—I just wish we could do something other than these guy-scoping bar nights.
  10. I really want to find love but I don’t want to spend all my time looking for it. I have better ways to spend my nights than stuck in some bar hoping a guy has the guts to come up and talk to me. I don’t want to wait to live my life until I find love. I’m still young and I don’t want to waste my youth hoping that a guy realizes how amazing I am. I’m sick of spending my hard earned money and my precious time at a bar. I want love, but is this really what it costs?
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.