First dates are the absolute worst. Of course it’s the only way to get to know someone and figure out if there’s any chemistry between us, but more often than not, they usually just end up being awkward at best and downright awful at worst. What should be an occasion to hang out with someone in a relaxed social setting ends up being more like a job interview. That’s why I get wasted on first dates — it makes the whole experience that little bit better.
- Dating is weird AF — I need to take the edge off. You ‘like’ someone’s picture on any given dating app, start chit-chatting for a few days and then meet up for a casual (read: awkward AF) drink somewhere. This guy is basically a stranger, and yet you both have some messed up expectations that you’ll be one another’s soulmates, or that you’ll drop everything and live happily ever after because you’ve stalked each other’s Facebook profiles or Instagram accounts. Is that not just plain weird to anyone else? I need a drink to take my mind off that.
- First date questions are dull at the best of times. Ugh, I’m so damn tired of hearing the typical first date questions. Telling a guy where I’m from, what I do, what my parents do, etc. is not going to reveal anything other than the fact that, yes, I am a human being. Going over and over these mindless questions is numbing at the best of times. Who can blame me for wanting a glass of merlot to ease the boredom?
- Sober dates can be way too serious. Honestly, have you ever had a sober date? They’re freakin’ awful. Sitting with a near stranger for hours on end while he witters on about everything and nothing is not how I plan to spend my precious free time. When you’re both drinking, you can cut through the crap… which brings me to my next point.
- Alcohol lubricates conversations, and you know it. Ladies, we can all get a little uptight on dates — it’s natural — so having a few drinks as you chat is a major help. Suddenly, you’re done with all the niceties and you can start having a real conversation. This magical liquor transforms this guy into your bestie in just a few sips. Before you know it, you’re telling him your weirdest desires and secrets. If he can handle that level of oddness, he might just be the guy for you.
- Getting a little tipsy makes dating FUN again. The whole point of dating is for it to be enjoyable, and yet it rarely is. Why is everyone just okay with that? I’m not. If I want to unwind and relax with a guy, drinking is the quickest way to get there. I know there are some ladies out there who will claim they can do this sober, but I’m calling BS.
- I don’t want a guy who doesn’t know how to loosen up anyway. My ideal story doesn’t end with Prince Charming sweeping me off my feet and us riding off on a white stallion. I’ll take the horse, but that guy’s a cheesy douche. I don’t want the ideal husband; I want someone I can really connect with and have fun with. Getting wasted with a potential partner means that you get to see who they are when they’re chilled out.
- I feel less self-conscious about my weirdness. Oh, and it’s not just the guy who relaxes into himself. When I’ve had a drink or two, *I* no longer stress about saying the right things or acting a certain way. Instead, I’m just me — the me that I am outside of this stupid ass scenario — the me that it would otherwise take this guy at least six uncomfortable more dates to meet. I need to stop being so uptight already.
- The date stops feeling like an interview for marriage. All those stilted questions seriously make me feel as though I’m in an interview situation. Is this guy trying to figure out whether I’d be a good wife? How could he possibly know that in an hour or two just by asking carefully curated questions? When the drinks start flowing, though, suddenly, there’s no need for those BS questions and we can just have a normal conversation.
- I still set boundaries and know my own mind. I don’t know about you, but when I’m wasted, I’m still aware of what’s going on. I respect myself and have strong boundaries whether I’m out of my head or not. I’m not saying I need to be a drunken mess throwing up on the floor. Drinking is meant to be enjoyable, so I keep my head screwed on while I’m doing it.
- I still probably won’t jump into bed on the first date. Just because I’m wasted doesn’t mean that I’m fair game. While there’s nothing wrong with sleeping with a guy on your first date, I’m not likely to go there. A guy should never assume that because I want a few drinks, it means I’m fair game. He’ll end up pretty disappointed.
