Going through a breakup is one of the most painful emotional experiences that you can have. You have all this love in your heart and nowhere to put it anymore so everything just hurts. You can make yourself feel better by crying over ice cream, stalking their social media pages, doing yoga, and watching endless romantic comedies, but tricking your mind and faking that you’re OK will actually help heal your broken heart faster than all of that combined.
It helps you focus on other things.
Spending entire hours plotting graphs and imagining possible scenarios where you’re back together is only going to make you feel dejected and even sadder. Channel your energy into work, painting, writing, anything more productive. While going through my last breakup, I forced myself to think of something else whenever my ex popped into my head. It was hard at first, but before long, I was able to go days without letting him mess up my headspace.
It teaches you that life really does go on.
You probably think that nothing will ever be good again now that your ex is no longer in your life. That’s OK and it will likely be true for a while. Don’t wait until you find closure before deleting their contacts and pictures from your phone, act like you’ve already moved on, and get rid of that mess right away. You’ll not only feel lighter but more accepting of the fact they’re really gone and there’s nothing you can do about that. What you can do is make new memories to cloud the old ones.
Believing that you’re over him will make it true.
You know how ignoring an itch can stop you from scratching it? It’s the same principle. When you intentionally take your mind off the negative feelings and just believe that you’re fine, you can move on sooner rather than later. See a movie with your friends, read a book, go for walks, and stop trying to come up with ways to run into him because you’re past all that.
You can get back to who you were before.
Pretending you’ve moved on allows you to rediscover yourself. The sooner you stopped acting like a bereaved widow, the sooner you can readjust to your new life, which is basically your old life as a single person. Remember the person you used to be before he came into your life and switched things up. Find that woman and be her again, only smarter and more badass.
Ignorance is bliss.
If admitting you still care about him is too painful, why do it? What good will wearing your heartbreak on your sleeve do except break it over and over? It is easier to deal with what is not there. There’s no point in torturing yourself by scrolling through images of your ex with his new boo and wishing it was you. If you fake like you don’t care, they lose power over you and your emotions.
You can win the post-breakup trophy.
I know there’s no real competition between you and your ex to see who finds happiness first, but what you’re not going to do is be the one to lose anyway. Imagine that he’ll be furious and jealous when he sees you enjoying your life without him. Feels great, right? That’s exactly why it pays to pretend that you are. You might actually find yourself having a lot of fun instead of drowning in misery.
It takes away the pressure of actually moving on.
After I broke up with my ex, I was completely devastated and I had no idea how to even begin healing, so I decided to pretend that it was the best thing that could have happened. I started acting like I no longer wanted him and I didn’t bother trying to stay friends, I didn’t give in to the cliche of wanting him to be happy. I just acted like I didn’t give a damn anymore until the morning I woke up and realized it had become true.
It opens your eyes.
Let’s face it, your ex is probably not as great as you have made them up to be. Pretending you’re over them will help those rose-colored glasses come off faster so you can be realistic about your time together from the good moments to the bad ones. With time, you can rewire your brain into relegating your ex to the dusty corners of your mind where they really belong.
It makes it easier to meet someone else.
You don’t want to be that person who goes on a date and just can’t stop talking about your ex. It’s lame and Beyonce would not approve. Pretending that you’re fine with your ex being gone is going to make future relationships a bit easier on you because you can avoid bringing that baggage into every room. Sure cutting off your ex is difficult, but dealing with the sharp pang of sadness is better than endless yearning. If your act is convincing enough, you might end up not only getting over your ex but also making him realize he’s made a terrible mistake and he wants you back. Then you can reject him in style.
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