I Want A Guy Who Couldn’t Picture Himself With Anyone Else But Me

I Want A Guy Who Couldn’t Picture Himself With Anyone Else But Me ©iStock/max-kegfire

I want real love and I’m not hiding that fact. I’m looking for a man who’s serious about committing to one woman and finding true love. I want to be someone’s one and only, so if a guy can picture himself with someone else, he shouldn’t be with me. Here’s why:

  1. I don’t want to be replaceable. I’m one of a kind and I need to be with a man who sees that. If I broke up with a guy who really loved me then I’d expect him to be heartbroken, not just be able to move on to the next woman who walks his way. People aren’t replaceable, especially the people we love. I want a man who thinks that no other woman could ever fill my shoes.
  2. He shouldn’t be thinking about other women in general. When I’m dating someone, my mind is fully focused on that person. If someone else is in my head then it’s clear to me that the guy I’m dating just doesn’t interest me enough. I believe in dating one person at one time and giving that person an honest shot. That means they get my full attention. If his mind is wandering to other women then he should do me a solid and just break up with me.
  3. I believe in “The One.” I want a partner who does too. Even if I start dating a man who doesn’t have that same outlook on love, I want to change that outlook. I want him to start believing in “The One” when he meets me because I want a relationship so amazing that neither of us even want to imagine what it would be like to be with anyone else.
  4. If he’s not happy with me, he should leave. If he were satisfied with me then he wouldn’t be picturing himself with someone else. He would be perfectly content where he is because I would be the woman that made him happy. He wouldn’t be focusing on someone else because he wouldn’t want to risk what we have. If a man wasn’t completely happy with his relationship with me then I’d rather say goodbye and move the hell on.
  5. I want a guy who feels incredibly lucky to have me. Appreciating the person you’re with is a vital part of any good relationship. A relationship should make me feel good and if I’m not being appreciated then I’m just going to feel used. I’m flawed just like everyone else, but I want to be with a man who loves me anyway. I want someone who will love every part of me and feel like being with me is like they won the lottery. I want to be grateful for the man in my life and I want him to feel the same way about me.
  6. Love shouldn’t be something that he chooses. We don’t get to have a say in who we love. That kind of feeling should be natural, not forced. If loving me instead of someone else is a decision he has to make, I’ll know his love isn’t genuine. I don’t want to be a multiple-choice question with more than one right answer. I’ve never been able to choose to stop or start loving someone, even when I’ve wanted to. Either he can’t help but love me and only me forever or we’re just not right for each other.
  7. If he doesn’t want a future with me and only me then I don’t want a present with him. I want a man I can plan a life with, not a man who can’t commit. I want to know that no matter what he’ll be by my side. I’m looking for a life partner, not a temporary partner in crime. What’s the point in being with each other just for now? I need a guy who’s looking for forever, not a guy who’s with me just to pass the time.
  8. There’s only enough room in this relationship for the two of us. If he’s carrying baggage into our relationship or even trying to bring someone new in, things are never going to work. He can’t be sitting there with a long list of backup plans. I need to know that he’s fully committed to our relationship and doesn’t have one foot out the door. If it’s not just him and me for the win then I’m out.
  9. I don’t want to be just an option. I want to be the be all, end all of everything. If he thinks he can do better than me then he shouldn’t waste my time. If I’m not the only girl he wants then he still needs to find the one girl who makes him not want anyone else. I’m not a selection he makes off the menu on a whim. I only want to spend my life with a man who only wants to spend his life with me.
  10. I want to feel safe and secure in my relationship. If I know he could picture himself with someone or be just as happy if not happier with another woman, then I’m never going to feel confident in our relationship. I’ll turn into a green-eyed monster that gets jealous all the time and wonders if any woman he meets or befriends might be the one who takes him away. I want to be the girl who doesn’t have to worry because she’s 100 percent sure her boyfriend would only ever want to be with her. That’s the love I deserve, and I won’t settle for anything less.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.