I Want A Guy Who Misses Me Even When He’s Not Horny

A guy who’s bummed out when he can’t see me because he wants to get laid isn’t anything special. If the man I’m with is sending me a text saying that he can’t wait to see me, this is why I need to know he misses more than just my ability to rock his world in bed:

  1. I deserve more than just sex. I want to fall head over heels for a man who falls just as hard for me. I’ll always be upfront with the guys I date about what I’m looking for, so if I’m telling a guy from the start that I want a real relationship, then he should never expect me to be happy with just sex.
  2. I need a man who’s mature. If a guy is still in his “spreading the seed” phase, then he’s not ready for me. I want a man who’s not afraid of commitment. I’m ready for a real relationship, and I need someone who wants the same things I do. He needs to be listening to the head on his shoulders, not the one on his penis.
  3. I don’t want a relationship where sex is the top priority. For me, sex isn’t the most important aspect of a relationship. Being with someone is about more than just faithfully sleeping with each other night after night. I care more about how we feel each about each other. I want to be compatible emotionally, not just physically.
  4. I want a guy who thinks of me as more than just a good time. I obviously want a guy to think I’m good in bed, but I’m more than just a good hookup buddy. I’m a catch, and I want a man who sees that while I can be fun, but I also want to be considered serious relationship material.
  5. Sex has actual meaning in my life. Sex has never been casual to me, and it never will be. Hookup culture may be the new norm, but not in my life. For me, it’s about more than just an orgasm — it’s a physical expression of how I feel about someone. If he’s just looking for someone to scratch that itch, he’d have better luck looking elsewhere.
  6. I’m more than just a warm body. I want a guy who sees my worth and misses the way he feels when he’s with me. My laugh, my stupid jokes and my smile are all a part of who I am, and a guy would be missing out if he didn’t appreciate them as much as I do. I want a guy who’s in love with the real me, not just my body.
  7. Being a man’s plaything just isn’t enough for me. Am I supposed to be flattered that he at least hits me up when he’s horny? I’m not going to be his girl when he’s in the mood and be nothing to him when he’s not. I want to be more than just friends with benefits or hookup buddies — I want strings to be attached, because anything less just isn’t enough for me.
  8. I want a man who actually gives a crap. I’m not actually going to apologize for wanting to be with a man who cares. If he only cares about me when he’s horny, then he doesn’t actually care at all. If he thinks of me as an easy way to an orgasm, he’s better off finding someone who’s okay with being treated like a breathing sex doll.
  9. If it’s only because he’s horny, then any willing woman will do. I know that if he’s not emotionally invested in me, any woman who can get him off will be able to cure his craving. There’s nothing special about me in that scenario. We might both have physical needs, but I have emotional needs, too. I want a man who wants me and only me, not just anybody who can get him off.
  10. I want him to miss me whenever we’re apart. I want the kind of love where we just can’t wait to see each other. I want to be with a man who can’t wait to get out of work so he can go home to me, the woman that he loves. I need to know that he’ll be texting me and have me on his mind when he’s away not because he wants to sleep with me, but because he misses the conversations and connection we share.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.
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