Why I Want To Be The Most Interesting Girl In The Room, Not The Hottest

Why I Want To Be The Most Interesting Girl In The Room, Not The Hottest ©iStock/Georgijevic

There’s no greater feeling than going out and feeling like I own the room — not by deliberately begging for attention, but by giving out an energy that’s felt, not seen. I’m not vain or overly aware of what I look like — I feel this way because I know who I am and what I have to offer — that’s why I’d rather be the most interesting girl in the room rather than the hottest one.

  1. I want respect over instant attraction. Anyone can slap on a pair of Spanx and stilettos to get a guy’s attention. I want to grab his attention with what I have to say over what I’m wearing. Yes, there can be an immediate chemical reaction that occurs between two people when they first meet, but I want to be respected for my mind, not disrespected by his perception of how I look.
  2. I want him to like me for my brain first, not my body. I want to feel empowered when I first meet a guy. I want to feel like an equal and like I’m the sexiest woman in the room — and not just because I look good in a dress or have my hair a certain way. I want eye contact and a sense of mystery, so he wants to know more. I want to have a conversation that’s out of the ordinary and not just surface-level.
  3. A hottie can eventually become a not-ie. Looks really only get you so far. I used to be one of those girls that would compare every guy I dated and ran them against this unrealistic checklist in my head, most of which contained qualities that were all physical or material. A perfect checklist doesn’t exist. I realized that I want a guy with a perfect heart, not a perfect body. It sounds cheesy but it’s totally true.
  4. I want real potential, not a one-night stand. I want a conversation with substance. Those conversations are hard to obtain in just one five minute meeting, and I sure as hell won’t be any closer to achieving that during a one-night stand. I had to learn to be completely vulnerable and confident within myself and trust that my personality is enough. I have amazing things to say, and I want a chance to say them outside some guy’s bedroom.
  5. I’m not DTF, so STFU. I’m the last person that will judge a woman for their sex-capades. I think almost all of us go through a phase where it’s sexually and spiritually freeing to be completely open about sex. One-night stands? Sure. A summer fling? Why not. But this doesn’t give guy the right to ask me to sleep with them 10 seconds after meeting me. Bottom line? No interesting conversation, no penetration.
  6. I want to be intellectually turned on. It’s so sexy to have an intellectual conversation with someone. I love that feeling of mentally connecting with another human being — for a minute, the world stops. I only feel that when I’m putting myself out there, being vulnerable and not worrying being the hottest girl in the room. I know that the right guy will feel the same way: happy to connect with someone who has something interesting to say.
  7. Confidence is contagious. There’s nothing sexier than a confident woman — she demands attention without ever asking for it. That underlying confidence is what will attract the right guy at the right time. I go out not expecting anything except to have a good time, and that’s more than enough for me.
Born and Raised in Las Vegas. Currently live in Lala Land (aka Hollywood). BA in English. I live at the beach any chance I get. Obsessions/loves include paddle boarding, laughing , Sunday brunches & relationship horror stories. Searching for answers one horror story at a time, while trying to find love and a little laughter.