There’s no greater feeling than going out and feeling like I own the room — not by deliberately begging for attention, but by giving out an energy that’s felt, not seen. I’m not vain or overly aware of what I look like — I feel this way because I know who I am and what I have to offer — that’s why I’d rather be the most interesting girl in the room rather than the hottest one.
- I want respect over instant attraction. Anyone can slap on a pair of Spanx and stilettos to get a guy’s attention. I want to grab his attention with what I have to say over what I’m wearing. Yes, there can be an immediate chemical reaction that occurs between two people when they first meet, but I want to be respected for my mind, not disrespected by his perception of how I look.
- I want him to like me for my brain first, not my body. I want to feel empowered when I first meet a guy. I want to feel like an equal and like I’m the sexiest woman in the room — and not just because I look good in a dress or have my hair a certain way. I want eye contact and a sense of mystery, so he wants to know more. I want to have a conversation that’s out of the ordinary and not just surface-level.
- A hottie can eventually become a not-ie. Looks really only get you so far. I used to be one of those girls that would compare every guy I dated and ran them against this unrealistic checklist in my head, most of which contained qualities that were all physical or material. A perfect checklist doesn’t exist. I realized that I want a guy with a perfect heart, not a perfect body. It sounds cheesy but it’s totally true.
- I want real potential, not a one-night stand. I want a conversation with substance. Those conversations are hard to obtain in just one five minute meeting, and I sure as hell won’t be any closer to achieving that during a one-night stand. I had to learn to be completely vulnerable and confident within myself and trust that my personality is enough. I have amazing things to say, and I want a chance to say them outside some guy’s bedroom.
- I’m not DTF, so STFU. I’m the last person that will judge a woman for their sex-capades. I think almost all of us go through a phase where it’s sexually and spiritually freeing to be completely open about sex. One-night stands? Sure. A summer fling? Why not. But this doesn’t give guy the right to ask me to sleep with them 10 seconds after meeting me. Bottom line? No interesting conversation, no penetration.
- I want to be intellectually turned on. It’s so sexy to have an intellectual conversation with someone. I love that feeling of mentally connecting with another human being — for a minute, the world stops. I only feel that when I’m putting myself out there, being vulnerable and not worrying being the hottest girl in the room. I know that the right guy will feel the same way: happy to connect with someone who has something interesting to say.
- Confidence is contagious. There’s nothing sexier than a confident woman — she demands attention without ever asking for it. That underlying confidence is what will attract the right guy at the right time. I go out not expecting anything except to have a good time, and that’s more than enough for me.