The honeymoon phase is always fun, but once you start to really get to know someone and your relationship becomes more serious, you find yourself wondering whether you could really be with this person forever. To be sure, ask him these questions—they’ll tell you whether or not you’re on the same page and could work long-term.
What does a healthy relationship look like to you?
You may have experienced toxic and/or abusive relationships or know someone that has, so you probably know what an unhealthy relationship looks like. But are you and your partner on the same page when it comes to what a healthy one looks like? Truthfully, there’s no one right answer or definition for what makes a healthy relationship is because it depends on each individual’s wants and needs. However, to make a relationship work long-term, you both need to agree about what those things are.
What is one thing you always procrastinate doing?
We all procrastinate, some more than others, but this is a good question to ask someone you might want to be with for the long haul. It actually is good for your relationship if you both put off doing different types of things since you’ll be able to balance each other out.
What is the hardest/worst thing you’ve been through in life that turned out to be a blessing in disguise?
You will learn a lot about your partner from this question. Not only will it show you that he’s able to understand that hard times are sometimes necessary and can pave the way for beautiful things, but it will also give you insight into what struggles he may have faced before he met you.
What is your favorite thing about our relationship?
No, this question isn’t just a to make yourself feel better (though it probably will). It can also provide a look into your partner’s commitment to the relationship. If his favorite thing about your connection is something superficial like your sexual chemistry or something about the way you look, he might still be in the honeymoon phase or might not be ready for something long-term.
What is something that you consider unforgivable?
People have different deal breakers depending on the qualities they value, but being on the same page when it comes to what is forgivable and what most certainly isn’t is a good sign for your relationship.
If you had an entire day off to do whatever you wanted without limitations, what would you do?
It’s OK not to have all of the same interests with your forever person, but you also want to be able to let loose and have fun with them! Life is too short to not indulge occasionally in your favorite things and what makes you happy, and if you and your partner have similar “treat yourself” ideas, you could go the distance.
What would you do for a job if money wasn’t a factor?
His answer will show you what kind of person he is and what his passions really are, which are two important things in a relationship. If his dream job is still respectable even when money doesn’t come into play, he’s a keeper.
Do you have any long-term and/or short-term goals?
If he doesn’t already mention you, you might want to ask whether you’re factored into those goals. Some people don’t really set goals. That’s not always because they aren’t ambitious, but they may just work hard and choose to progress naturally in life. However, in order to truly know if your relationship could work long-term, you definitely need to know what your partner wants to achieve in the near and far-flung future.
What is something that always ends badly?
This question can easily go from a lighthearted, joking one to a serious, heart-to-heart answer. It’s still good to know your guy’s opinion on what specific things always end badly and compare them with your own ideas.
Is there anything in your life that you would go back in time and change if possible?
Asking if someone has any regrets is also a similar concept, but that one is a little more cliche and leaves a lot more wiggle room. You might regret the way that you acted or something you did but appreciate the person it made you become and the strength you gained from it. This question is specific and will show you a side of your partner you might not have otherwise seen, but will help to make sure you are on the right path when it comes to a long-term relationship.
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