You probably know the tenets of a happy, healthy relationship: treat your partner with respect, never take them for granted, and be thoughtful and supportive. Those are good rules to live by, but if you want to take your relationship—particularly the one that happens in the bedroom—to the next level, there’s one particular thing you should do, according to a new study.
- It’s all about the compliments. You should be complimenting your partner regularly anyway—that shouldn’t just stop after the initial dating period when you know you’ve won them over. Telling them that their hair looks nice or that they’re super cute in their new glasses or that they’re super smart is a nice way to boost their confidence, but that’s not the kind of compliments we mean.
- Tell them that you love their body. That’s right, the kind of compliment that will make your sex life hotter than ever is one about their body. Tell them how hot they are or how much their ass/boobs/pecs/whatever turns you on and you’d be surprised at the insane effect it can have on them and on your relationship as a whole. This discovery was the result of a study of 244 women between the ages of 18 and 30 that was published in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy.
- More body confidence leads to more frequent and better sex. Not really a surprise, right? The women in the study basically reported that the better they felt about their bodies and the better they believed their partners felt about their bodies, the greater their desire for sexual intimacy and the better their body image. Huh, makes sense when you think about it!
- There’s nothing more vulnerable than sex. That’s basically what it comes down to. When we undress with someone, we feel totally vulnerable because we’re literally naked. Therefore, being told that we’re attractive and desirable will help to lessen the fear and lack of comfortability we often experience when having a sexual experience, even if it’s with someone we’ve been dating for a while.
- Of course, it’s important to find love from within first. As marriage and relationship therapist Shelly Bullard tells mindbodygreen, “Our internal experience is mirrored back to us in our relationships. Therefore, the best thing you can always do is find love within. When in doubt, love yourself.” The same goes for body image—as you cultivate more and more love for your own body, there’s no doubt that you’ll see that body love radiating from your partner.” Got it.