I don’t want another “almost relationship.” I don’t want a friend with benefits. I don’t even want a spring fling that’ll keep me occupied for a few months. I want a hardcore, mushy relationship that makes everyone else sick to their stomachs.
- I want to be madly in love. I’m a bit of a skeptic, so it would take a pretty amazing man for me to engage in PDA and create sappy Facebook statuses. Only couples who are madly in love reach that level of disgusting-ness.
- Mushiness proves he likes me. Most men are terrified of being called whipped by their friends, so if a guy’s willing to do mushy things with me, then it means he’s serious about me. He cares more about our relationship than about his reputation.
- It’s better than the alternative. I’d rather be in a relationship that makes everyone else sick than be in a relationship that makes me sick. I’m tired of crying myself to sleep over boys that couldn’t care less about me. I want other people to be the ones with upset stomachs for a change.
- I don’t care what other people say. Who cares if passersby roll their eyes when they see me holding hands with my boyfriend? It doesn’t make a difference to me. I know that deep down, they actually want what I have.
- I’m only human. As much as I love the single life, I can’t act like finding the love of my life wouldn’t be fun. I mean, imagine all of the midnight drives and moonlight walks and mushy text messages. Who wouldn’t want a relationship like that?
- It’s my time to shine. I’ve watched my fair share of overly mushy couples make-out in the mall, spoon feed each other, and wear matching outfits. I’ve paid my dues. It’s time for me to be one of those couples that everyone else hates.
- I might as well go all the way. If I’m going to go through the trouble of dating, then why should I settle for someone I feel indifferent about? There’s no sense in taking half-measures. I might as well date someone who makes me want to scream his name from the rooftops.
- Sickness is a sign of success. When it comes to relationships, the more nauseating a couple is, the happier they are. Since I want to be the happiest couple around, I don’t mind if I make all of my friends roll their eyes. Their judgmental looks will be worth it in the end.
- It looks like fun. I can’t lie — as much as I hate when other couples upload kissing pictures to their shared Instagram and sit on each other’s shoulders during concerts, it looks like fun. I’d like to try it, at least once, just to see what it’s like.
- I deserve true love. I’ve dealt with enough dirtbags in the past. I think it’s about time for me to find a man who’s willing to make a fool of himself alongside me. I’m finally ready for something real.
