You Might Want A Relationship But Are You Ready For One? Here’s How You Know

Having someone to hold you, treat you well, and go on adventures with is the dream. That being said, relationships take a lot of work and while you may want one, that doesn’t mean you’re ready for it. Consider these things before you jump in.

  1. You can’t just up and leave when you feel like it. Having a new boyfriend is drastically different than being single. While it’s fine to grab your bags and disappear without any explanation when you’re rolling solo, that won’t fly in a mature relationship. You have to be ready to spend time and make an effort to nurture your romance. While this doesn’t mean texting your guy around the clock, you still have to update him about your whereabouts. That’s just common courtesy.
  2. You have to be ready to swallow your pride. The beautiful thing about being single is that you’re your own boss. You can make decisions without asking anyone and the freedom feels great. When you’re in a relationship, however, you have to be able to reconcile differences and make decisions together. If you’re willing to swallow your pride and let him win even when you’re right at times, then you’re ready to be with him.
  3. You can’t drop a relationship when it gets hard. Cuddling with your boyfriend is great, but that’s only about 10% of what a relationship is. You’ll inevitably argue and fight at some point. You’ll have differences. This doesn’t mean that it’s fine to drop the relationship and move on. You have to be mature about it. If you want a relationship, be ready to work through the tough times like an adult.
  4. You have to know yourself extremely well before dating someone. Unfortunately, it’s super common for people to get into relationships and completely lose their identity. Don’t change for a boyfriend. Instead, know yourself before committing to him. If you don’t, you risk waking up one day to realize you’ve lost yourself along the way.
  5. You have to choose between consistent love and the thrill of one-night stands. Consistent sex with someone can be amazing as you connect on not just a physical level but emotional too. That being said, it’s undeniable that one-night stands are fun and exciting. You have to be sure you’re ready to give up random hookups if you want to be in a relationship. Otherwise, the whole thing will blow up in your face.
  6. You have to be ready to trust him. Relationships rely on compromise and trust. If you’re constantly paranoid about where he goes, who he’s with, and whether he’s lying to you, you’re not ready to be with this guy. Remember that checking his phone is never OK. Take your time. Choose someone you can trust and then commit. Same goes the other way around—don’t act shady and lie. If you’re not ready to be completely honest with your boyfriend, stay single.
  7. Being ready for a relationship means letting go of your personal bubble. Being single means being able to spend days at a time not talking to a single person and living in your sweatpants. You can kiss that little bubble goodbye when you start dating someone. Relationships mean sharing time and space, so you must be willing to share your blanket, pizza, and wine with him. Find a boyfriend you’re happy to have around all the time, not someone you can only tolerate in small doses.
  8. You have to consider what you guys want in life. It’s great if you both want a relationship, but you’re not ready for it until you’ve talked about the things you want long-term. What if you want a boyfriend to go out on dates with three times a week but he wants a family and kids? Get on the same page before jumping into things.
  9. If you want to change him, you’re not ready to date him. One of the worst mistakes to make is to start a relationship with a guy who’s not right for you. If you see him as someone who has potential but isn’t a good fit as-is, don’t date him. Trying to change him will make him resent you. If you can accept him the way he is then you’re ready to be his girlfriend.
  10. Know the difference between a real relationship and an almost-relationship. I’m sorry but if you’re in an almost relationship, you’re still single. It’s great if you’re ready to be exclusive with someone and share your time and emotions with him. You have to make sure he’s ready too. If he’s trying to keep it casual and suggests that you guys hang out but see other people as well, that’s not the real thing and you should run as fast as you can.
Dayana is a passionate traveler who's been navigating foreign lands and confusing relationships since she was 16. You can read more of her work on Matador Network and her blog, Dee Across The Sea.