If You Want Romance These Days, Good Luck

I’ve always been a hopeless romantic and until recently I still saw signs of romance in the world. I even knew some romantic men. Now, though, it looks like all that is gone and I have no idea WTF happened. Dating has become like cheap takeout. Ugh.

  1. Romance is dead. I couldn’t even tell you the last time a man did something truly romantic and thoughtful for me. I guess guys don’t think girls want romance anymore, and maybe some don’t. I don’t know. All I know is that I do and I hate this lame, casual dating atmosphere.
  2. Men barely even try. I’m not in college anymore—I’m a grown woman. I want to be treated as such and I want to be courted by a man who’s really interested in dating me. It’s definitely not happening. If I’m even fortunate enough to get asked on a date, it’s so casual that it hardly even feels like one. Where’s the spark and the fire and the anticipation?
  3. All dudes want to do is “hang out.” I’m so not down with this Netflix-and-chill culture. Take me on a date. Date me. I’m an awesome girl and any guy should be proud to say that he’s dating me. I’m not messing with all this other business because it’s a waste of my damn time. These guys must have some real high self-esteem to think that I should fall all over myself to “hang out” with them.
  4. Men treat women like afterthoughts. I want to be desired and pursued. I only want to spend time with someone who is genuinely interested in me and in getting to know me better as a person. I’m not someone you call to hang out when your other plans fall through. I’ve never been that girl and I never will be. Women are valuable and we deserve to be treated that way.
  5. Guys don’t make sweet gestures anymore. When I was younger, I dated some of the sweetest guys who were caring and considerate. They did lovely, romantic things for me without me having to ask. I wish I had appreciated it more then because I can hardly find a guy now who even treats me as well as he would a friend. It’s so disheartening.
  6. It’s gotten so ridiculous that we girls get excited over the smallest things. It’s truly insane how little guys try these days. I mean, honestly, a guy who does the bare minimum blows my mind now. He cooked me dinner? He opened the door for me? He offered me a back rub without me asking? I’d better marry him now, because no other guy is doing that stuff! Sigh.
  7. If you ask for any romance at all, men run away. God forbid I want someone to be excited about me and make a little effort. That’s crazy talk, apparently. I’m so over it! I can tell immediately if a guy is going to be worth my time, and sadly, the answer is always no. I’m going to be so shocked if a man actually genuinely tries to date me that I won’t know what to do.
  8. There are so many girls out there settling that guys drop you if you have standards. They don’t want to deal with requirements—there are plenty of women out there who will put up with their BS, at least for a little while. As long as they’re getting laid, they really don’t care. It sucks but it’s true. I’ve been ghosted many times for calling men out for being jerks.
  9. Most guys act like they want a quality woman but they don’t want to have to work to have one. It’s almost like a weird fetish at this point. Guys talk a good game about wanting a strong, independent, authentic woman in their lives, but they want her to just drop out of the sky and love them for no reason. Good luck with that. It’s not how the real world works.
  10. Somehow a lot of guys think they’re simply entitled to awesome girls. It seems like everyone these days likes the idea of dating and relationships but doesn’t want to do any work to get there. We live in a world of instant gratification and no one gets that it doesn’t work that way if you want a good partnership. There is literally no romancing happening anywhere – trust me, I’m looking.
  11. If you call men out on their crap, suddenly you’re a bitch. It’s such an easy, pathetic, cowardly way for men to dismiss women and I’m tired of it. I’m not a bitch just because I stand up for myself. That simply makes me a human being who knows her worth. Men hate being called out on their bad behavior, but too bad. If they don’t like it they should stop acting like jerks.
  12. Guys don’t even understand how to be romantic anymore. God forbid a guy rub my feet after a long day or ask me how I’m feeling. I never even hope for flowers anymore, let alone sweet little love notes or declarations of affection. That’s the kind of romance I’ve always dreamed of, but it’s fast becoming apparent that men who do those things or appreciate their value no longer exist.
  13. The ultra-casual dating scene today has ruined everything for romance. Men want sex. Not all men and that’s not always all they want… but they want it. So do we women, actually, and it’s gotten more socially acceptable for us to ask for it. The problem is that with this casual attitude towards sex, romance has almost completely dissolved into nothing. Dating should be about both—maybe I’m old-fashioned, but that’s what I believe.
A former actress who has always loved the art of the written word, Amy is excited to be here sharing her stories! She just completed her first novel, and is also a contributor for Elite Daily, Dirty & Thirty, and Thought Catalog. Amy is the founder of What If Journey and can be found on Twitter @amyhorton18. You can also visit her website at amyhorton.net.