I Want Something Serious — If You Don’t, Then Bye

The dating game has become way too casual, and I can’t deal with it anymore. If you just want to have an easy fling someone, go for it, but I can promise you that it won’t be with me. From now on, I’m not settling for anything less than a real, committed relationship.

  1. I don’t care if you’re afraid of commitment. That’s honestly such a lame excuse. It’s a cop-out. You’re not afraid of relationships; you just don’t want one. Falling in love is scary, but when it’s with the right person, it’s worth it. So if you can’t commit to me, then I’m just not the right girl for you. It’s really that simple.
  2. I want to be with someone who actually gives a crap. I’m sick of dating guys who don’t really care or aren’t going to even remember my name in a year. I want a man who cares about my emotional needs, not just my physical ones.
  3. I don’t want to have sex unless I’m in love. I’ve never been interested in hookup culture, but that seems to be what casual flings are all about. It’s not the idea of not putting a label on things — it’s the idea of casual sex without commitment. I don’t want sex unless I’m in love, and I can’t have love without a real relationship.
  4. I’m sick of almost-relationships. All this in-between nonsense is making me unhappy. I’m happy when I’m single or when I’ve been in real relationships, but I’m miserable living somewhere between the two. I’m just someone who needs a defined relationship status. I want to know what we are to each other because for me, we’re either together or we’re nothing at all.
  5. I’m done with the drama. I’m over all the games and mixed signals. Relationships might take work, but they’re definitely a lot less drama than flings. In a relationship, I’ll always know where I stand, but when we’re keeping things casual, everything is up in the air. It’s so confusing and we’re never on the same page. Casual might sound easier, but for me, it’s just full of undefined stress.
  6. You’re either interested or you’re not. You either like me or you don’t. If you had real feelings for me, you wouldn’t want to keep things casual. You’d want something more, something real. Staying low-key with a relationship is what people do when they’re not right for each other. If you’re really interested in me, then you’ll be more than ready to commit to something real.
  7. I’m ready to fall head over heels in love. I’m also ready to have a man fall just as hard for me. I’ve done the different stages of “like,” but I’m bored. I’m sick of having limits on “relationships.” I’m ready to go all-in and actually let myself fall deeply in love with someone. What I’m really looking for is a man who wants that same thing.
  8. I want a man I can count on. What I really want is a partner. I’m looking for a man I can share not just my bed with, but my whole life. I’m always going to be an independent woman, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t have a man I can lean on. I’m looking for more than just a warm body — I want a partner.
  9. I want a relationship with an actual future. I’m tired of hanging out with a guy for a few weeks or months and then cutting ties before things get too serious. I want serious, and I want a man I can build a life with. I don’t want to just hang out anymore — I want commitment.
  10. I’m ready to settle down. Living the semi-single life has been fun. I love my independence, but I’m ready for my next adventure. I’m ready for something real. I’ve lived out my single years. I’ve done casual flings. I’m not trying to beat the clock — I’m just ready. I want to settle down with a man I can truly love.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.