Life’s too short to be miserable, right? But sometimes, without even realizing it, we hand over the keys to our happiness to things that don’t deserve that power. So, if you’re looking to take back control and live your best life, here’s a list of 15 things you should stop letting run the show.
1. Other people’s opinions
You know that saying, “What other people think of you is none of your business”? There’s a lot of truth to that. Sure, it’s natural to care what others think, but when their opinions start dictating your choices, that’s when you need to pump the brakes. You’re the star of your own show, don’t let anyone else get in the way of that.
2. Fear of failure
The age-old “what if I mess up?” worry. Well, guess what? Everyone messes up sometimes. Yup, even the most successful people out there have failed more times than you can count. But they didn’t let those failures stop them. They knew what you need to know: It’s all part of the learning process, so don’t let the fear of it keep you from trying new things.
3. The past
We’ve all got baggage. Maybe it’s a bad breakup, a missed opportunity, or a mistake you wish you could take back. But you can’t change the past. What you can do? Learn from it and use those lessons to shape a better future. Don’t let old hurts and regrets hold you hostage. You’ve got a whole life ahead of you to live!
4. The illusion of “someday”
“Someday I’ll go to Italy.” “Someday I’ll sell my art.” Sound familiar? “Someday” is not a day of the week. If there’s something you really want to do, start taking steps towards it now. Even small actions can lead to big changes over time. Don’t let “someday” keep you from living your dreams today.
5. Procrastination
We’ve all put off tasks until the last minute, then stressing out to get them done. Break this cycle! Start with small steps, use time management techniques, and remember that taking action, even if not perfectly, is better than doing nothing at all. Don’t let procrastination rob you of your peace of mind.
6. Toxic relationships
Whether it’s a friend, family member, or romantic partner, toxic relationships will drain your energy and happiness. It’s okay to set boundaries or even walk away from relationships that consistently bring you down. Surround yourself with people who support and uplift you. Your mental health will thank you.
7. Unrealistic expectations
Life rarely goes exactly as planned, and that’s okay. Having goals is great, but rigid expectations can set you up for so much disappointment. Be flexible, adapt to changes, and remember that sometimes, the unexpected things life throws at us can lead us to amazing opportunities. Embrace the journey, twists and all.
8. The “shoulds”
“I should be married by now.” “I should have a better job.” “I should be more like so-and-so.” The “shoulds” in life can be overwhelming, often unrealistic, and usually based on societal expectations or comparisons to others. Instead of focusing on what you “should” do, think about what you want to do.
9. The idea of “having it all”
Let go of the myth that you need to “have it all” to be happy. Perfect job, perfect relationship, perfect body, perfect social life—it’s exhausting just thinking about it! Life is about trade-offs and choices. Focus on what truly matters to you, and don’t stress about the rest. Remember, balance doesn’t mean doing everything, it means doing the right things for you.
10. Social media
Social media can be great for keeping in touch and sharing cat videos. But when you start measuring your life against the highlight reels of others, that’s when things get dicey. Remember, people usually only post their best moments. You’re comparing your behind-the-scenes to everyone else’s carefully curated trailer. Focus on living your life, not documenting it for likes.
11. Money worries
©iStock/ChardayPennMoney matters, sure, but it shouldn’t be the be-all and end-all. If you’re constantly stressing about your bank balance, it’s time to take a step back. Create a budget, live within your means, and remember that the best things in life—like relationships, experiences, and personal growth—are often free.
12. The need for control
You can’t control everything. The weather, other people’s actions, the general chaos of life—it’s all out of your control. What you can control is how you respond to these things. Focus on that instead of trying to micromanage the universe. It’s liberating once you get the hang of it!
13. The pursuit of happiness
This might sound counterintuitive, but hang with me here. According to Harvard Business Review, happiness shouldn’t be the destination. Why? Well, when you make happiness your ultimate goal, you can end up feeling worse when you’re not constantly happy. Instead, focus on living a meaningful life aligned with your values. Pursue growth, connection, and purpose. Happiness often comes as a byproduct.
14. The need for approval
Seeking validation from others is a slippery slope. While it’s nice to be appreciated, making decisions solely to please others is just going to make you miserable. Trust your own judgment. Make choices that align with your values and goals. At the end of the day, you’re the one who has to live with your decisions, so make sure they’re truly yours.
15. FOMO
FOMO, or fear of missing out according to the National Library of Medicine, is real. But constantly worrying about what you might be missing out on can prevent you from enjoying what’s right in front of you. Instead of worrying about what you’re not doing, focus on fully engaging with what you are doing. And that’s on mindfulness and gratitude for the present moment.
