We may not be able to read someone’s mind, but we can read their body language. People often reveal their thoughts and feelings through subtle (and not-so-subtle) physical cues like how they sit, their hand gestures, and even eye movements. Here’s how to decode those unspoken signals to determine what someone is really thinking.
1. Crossed Arms and Legs
When someone crosses their arms or legs, it’s a sign of defensiveness or discomfort. They have subconsciously put up a barrier between themselves and the outside world. If you’re in a conversation and someone suddenly crosses their arms, they may feel threatened, disagree with what you said, or feel triggered and want the conversation to end.
2. Mirroring Your Movements
It’s called mirroring when someone adopts your gestures, posture, the words you use, and speech patterns. This is a sign they feel connected to you and are subconsciously trying to build rapport and show that they’re in sync. If you catch someone doing this, it’s a good indicator they’re comfortable around you, in agreement with what you’re saying, and enjoying the discussion.
3. Avoiding Eye Contact
Eyes are the windows to the soul, so when someone avoids eye contact, it is a clear signal that they feel guilty, uncomfortable, or unconfident. They could be hiding something or feel threatened or insecure, so they constantly glance away and avoid your gaze. Conversely, too much or intense eye contact, like staring, can feel aggressive and intimidating. It can also indicate someone is trying to dominate the conversation or is feeling confrontational.
4. Leaning In or Out
If you want to know how interested someone is in you, pay attention to how they position their body in relation to yours. It’s a sign of interest, engagement, or even attraction if they’re leaning in. They’re literally trying to get closer to you. On the other hand, if they lean out and away, they could be bored, uninterested, and uncomfortable. This shift in posture is a clear signal they want out of the conversation.
5. Fidgeting and Restlessness
Making fidgeting gestures like tapping fingers, shifting in a seat, or playing with objects or your hair signals nervousness or anxiety. It’s the body’s way of releasing pent-up uncomfortable energy. If someone is constantly moving or adjusting themselves, they may have anxiety or feel anxious about the conversation. Also, watch out for someone trying hard to be calm; they could still be hiding something.
6. Forced Smile
A genuine smile engulfs the entire face, particularly the eyes. It has a name if someone’s smile seems forced or doesn’t reach their eyes. It’s called the “Duchenne smile.” and means they are faking it. A fake smile often hides discomfort and feigns interest.
7. Touching the Face
When someone touches their face—whether rubbing their chin, touching their nose, or covering their mouth—it’s a sign they’re deep in thought or feeling unsure. These gestures can also indicate they’re trying to hide something, especially if they cover their mouth while speaking. It’s a subconscious attempt to stop themselves from revealing too much.
8. Pacing or Shifting Weight
Pacing back and forth or shifting weight from one foot to another is a classic sign of anxiety or impatience. If someone does this during a conversation, they are anxious about what’s being discussed and looking for an escape route. This physically manifests their discomfort and desire to move on from the situation.
9. Foot Positioning
The feet are signposts of where the mind wants to go. Believe it or not, the direction someone’s feet point can reveal much about their thoughts. They’re likely engaged and interested in the conversation if their feet are pointed toward you. If their feet are pointed away or toward the door, it’s a sign they aren’t fully engaged and are looking for an out.
10. Open Palms vs. Closed Fists
Open palms are a sign of openness, honesty, and a willingness to communicate. It’s a gesture indicating that someone is straightforward and has nothing to hide. On the other hand (pun intended), closed fists or hidden hands suggest they’re feeling defensive, withholding information, or even angry. Paying attention to people’s hands will give you clear insight into their true intentions.
11. Raised Eyebrows
Raised eyebrows are an obvious sign of surprise or curiosity. If someone raises their eyebrows while you’re talking, they’re interested or intrigued by what you’re saying. However, if their eyebrows stay up north for too long, it can indicate skepticism or disbelief. Take this subtle cue to help gauge how your words are received.
12. Sudden Changes in Posture
A sudden shift in posture, like sitting up straighter or leaning back, is like a loud bell signaling a change in someone’s emotional state. They might feel caught off guard, surprised, or suddenly uncomfortable. Making this quick adjustment is a physical reaction when something has impacted someone emotionally.
13. Crossed Ankles
Crossing the ankles indicates nervousness or insecurity, even if the upper body appears relaxed. It’s a subtle way for someone to close off or protect themselves in an uncertain and uncomfortable situation. Make no mistake: the gesture is not about confidence but self-protection.
14. Blinking Often
Blinking, especially if it happens in rapid succession or often, can indicate a range of emotions, from nervousness to feeling overwhelmed. If someone blinks more than usual, they might be processing a lot of information or feeling stressed. On the flip side, not blinking very much can indicate they’re trying to focus intensely or may even feeling threatened.
15. The Fake Nod
Nodding is typically a sign of agreement, but it can indicate the opposite if it’s too quick or doesn’t match the person’s words. A fake nod could keep the conversation moving or appease you without truly agreeing with what’s being said. It’s a subtle way of avoiding conflict while not fully committing to the conversation.
