I Wanted To Be With Him So I Went After Him & Now He’s My Boyfriend—Cool, Right?

I used to always wait for the guy to make the first move because I didn’t have the courage to do it myself. If I wanted a guy to talk to me, I’d basically just stare at him from across the room and hope he’d read my mind and come over. However, with the last guy I had a crush on, I decided to take my fate into my own hands and go after him. It paid off—he’s now my boyfriend!

  1. I was tired of believing in outdated dating rules. It’s not fair to expect the guy to be the one to always make the first move. Why can’t the woman show how she feels and make the first move for a change? That’s exactly what I did. I thought he seemed like a really great guy and I wanted to get to know him so I started the conversation. It turned out to be the best decision I’ve ever made.
  2. I don’t need to be chased—I’m not looking for an ego boost. The idea that the guy should always approach the woman is synonymous with the concept of the man being the woman’s savior— that’s something I’m completely against. I don’t need anyone to chase after me, thanks. I’d rather us be equally enthusiastic.
  3. I sent the first message and we really hit it off. To be honest, I didn’t know if he even wanted to talk to me because there’d been no indication up until that point. It was more of a gut feeling. I’ve always been scared of rejection which is why I avoid starting conversations with anybody, but I thought that it was time that I started taking risks and this one definitely paid off.
  4. It wasn’t as scary as I thought it would be. I’ll admit that I hesitated about starting a conversation with him because I kept thinking about how awkward it would be if he didn’t reply. Then I realized that it didn’t matter. If he didn’t reply, that would be his problem—but at least I could say I tried.
  5. He was too shy to make the first move. After we’d spoken for a while, he admitted that he wanted to talk to me but he didn’t have the courage. By sending him a message first, I came across as a confident woman even though I was actually nervous AF and he was totally into it.
  6. If I hadn’t made the first move, we probably wouldn’t have started dating. Let’s face it—if I hadn’t messaged my boyfriend first, I don’t think we would’ve ever started talking. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t believe in fate but I do think that some things happen for a reason and this is one of those times.
  7. I actually asked him out on a date. Honestly, I never thought I’d have the confidence to ask someone out. We’d been talking for a while and he hadn’t asked yet so I decided to go for it. I mean, why not? If he said no then it wouldn’t be the end of the world. Besides, he said yes so I don’t regret it.
  8. It’s unfair to put so much pressure on the guy. I know a lot of people would expect the man to ask the woman out on a date as that’s usually how it works, right? Eh, I think that’s outdated. Not every guy feels confident enough to make the first move and it’s unfair to expect them to do it. If we want something, why shouldn’t we go after it?
  9. He was shocked that I made the first move. Guys often don’t expect the woman to make the first move so when it happens, it can be quite impressive. I don’t think a woman should be praised for asking a guy out but I do think that it should happen more often.
  10. I would have regretted it if I didn’t. If I hadn’t sent him that first message, I definitely would’ve felt like I missed out. I wasn’t expecting a boyfriend out of it but I wanted to get to know him. I ended up getting that and so much more.
  11. I realized that I prefer making the first move. It can’t be a coincidence that whenever I’ve been approached by a guy, it’s never worked out but the one time I make the first move, I end up in the best relationship I’ve ever been in. I think it comes down to the fact that I like being the pursuer. If I want to talk to someone then I’m going to, even if that means risking rejection.
  12. It made me feel like I could do anything. I’ve never been the one to start a conversation with a guy I liked before so it made me feel super confident and proud. Honestly, it’s something that I never thought I’d be able to do but I proved myself wrong and that’s the greatest feeling. Being the only to make the first move makes me feel like I’m in control and that’s empowering.
Coralle is a freelance writer with an interest in relationships, women's health and parenting. In her free time, she enjoys reading, watching new Netflix shows and spending time with family.