Wanting A Guy With Ambition Doesn’t Make Me A Gold Digger

Wanting A Guy With Ambition Doesn’t Make Me A Gold Digger ©iStock/marinovicphotography

Women who want to shop all day with a limitless credit card they don’t pay and who stay with a guy because he pays the bills, not because he makes them happy, are gold diggers. Being an independent woman looking for an ambitious man isn’t the same. Here’s why:

  1. I want someone who has the same drive as me. I’m not asking for a guy to work hard so I don’t have to — I love my career and I’m perfectly happy to pay my own way. That being said, what’s wrong with wanting a man with ambition? I want a guy who’s pedaling forward, not back — one who’s working with me, not against — and there’s no shame in that.
  2. I don’t want to shoulder all the responsibility. I want someone else you can depend on, the same way he depends on me. A relationship is an equal partnership, with no one party doing more than their share of the work. I don’t want to get burnt out with all the weight on me, so I need a partner there to pick up the slack.
  3. Laziness isn’t attractive. There’s nothing attractive about a couch potato. I want a guy who’s going places, not one who keeps letting life pass him by. If he has no interest in doing something with his life, why would he expect me to have an interest in him? He can’t make an effort in life, so I’m not going to stick around to be yet another thing he neglects.
  4. I’m not mooching off him, and he’s certainly not mooching off me. We should both bring a lot to the table, literally and figuratively, which means we’re not using each other for anything other that mutual love, respect and friendship. That’s what a relationship should be — what we get from each emotionally, not financially.
  5. I’m not trying to be a “kept” woman. I’m no trophy wife, and that’s not because I don’t have great looks. It’s because I know I have more to offer than a hot bod. Once upon a time, women weren’t valued for their brains, only for their skills in the kitchen and the bedroom. My life means more than that and I want a man who believes in my potential, as well as his own.
  6. I want a certain lifestyle. Some people want to retire and stay close to home living conservatively. Others have dreams of traveling the world and living a little more than comfortably, and that’s perfectly okay. It’s my life and I have the right to pursue my dreams, just as my potential partner does. The fact is, he needs to have goals in order to pursue them, and if he doesn’t, there’s a serious problem.
  7. I want a good life for my children. There’s nothing wrong with wanting more out of life than living paycheck to paycheck. I shouldn’t have to wonder if there’ll be food on the table or if our family will go hungry. It’s a mother’s instinct to want what’s best for her children. Sure, I may not have them yet, but when I do, I want to be certain that their parents are doing everything in our power to give them their best possible life.
Kelsey Dykstra is a freelance writer based in Huntington Beach, CA. She has a bachelor’s degree in Creative Writing from Grand Valley State University and been writing professionally since graduating in 2013. In addition to writing about love and relationships for Bolde and lifestyle topics for Love to Know, she also writes about payment security and small business solutions for PaymentCloud.

Originally from Michigan, this warm weather seeker relocated to the OC just last summer. Kelsey enjoys writing her own fictional pieces, reading a variety of young adult novels, binging on Netflix, and of course soaking up the sun.

You can find more about Kelsey on her LinkedIn profile or on Twitter @dykstrakelsey.