People Keep Warning Me Against Marrying My Boyfriend & It’s Freaking Me Out

Marriage isn’t the logical next step in my serious relationship, it’s like a mountain to climb—at least that’s what everyone around me has led me to believe. Yeah, I’m young and probably have a lot to learn still, but do people have to give me such dire warnings about why I should proceed with extreme caution?

“At 22, you’re barely an adult.” 

Alright, so what about people in other cultures and countries that literally get married at 16? Honestly, age really is nothing but a number to me. How old you are has nothing to do with how mature you are. I’ve met people who are well into their thirties who still act like they’re in college. Just knowing that I’m already past that stage gives me hope.

“How are you going to pay for a wedding and a house already?” 

You know, I honestly don’t have the answer to this any more than anyone else does, but it’s no one’s business anyway. I’m confident that if I want to take the next step, I’ll be able to. The clouds will part if it’s the right time for me, and that’s all I need to know. Nothing has to be extravagant and expensive anyway.

“You need to go out and explore the world alone first.”

 Yeah, I see where people are coming from with this one, but I have two things to say. One: I’ve already done that when I studied abroad. I had my time with my good friends, exploring and doing whatever the heck I wanted. Two: I’m totally craving taking a European vacation with my guy right about now. Traveling the world with the love of my life makes me way more excited at this point in my life.

“This is the prime time to be single with your friends.”

Right, but I’m not and I have no desire to be. Just because someone else is telling me I need to want something doesn’t mean I actually do. I’m in a totally different place in my life, with completely different goals and passions than my friends. That’s OK—they just need to learn to respect that.

He doesn’t want to be tied down yet.”

This one is honestly such a joke. Yes, there are many guys out there who aren’t mature enough yet to want to be married. However, there are also guys out there who actually look forward to making such a big commitment. It’s so ridiculous to group all guys together as if they’re exactly the same. It’s also even more dangerous to try and tell me what my own boyfriend is thinking, like I don’t already know.

“You’re gonna be the youngest parents I know.”

I’m not sure how many times I have to say this, but just because someone is married doesn’t mean they automatically need to have kids immediately too. I want to be married young so that I can literally have fun sleepovers with my guy every night and (as I mentioned) travel the world with him. Sure, we want kids, but that won’t come until way later.

“The second you get married, there goes your life.” 

Seriously, what does this even mean? If I’m being honest, I think that the second I get married, I can finally start really living my life. I’m stuck in that in-between right now where I want to start settling down and having fun with my soulmate, but so many things are stopping that at the moment. I’d say that right now is a lot suckier (because of the waiting) than it will be after I get married.

“You should get further in your career first.”

Honestly, I can’t promise I’ll ever be settled in my career. I love moving, changing, and new things. I get attracted way too easily to something that looks better than what I’ve got now. If I know myself at all, I know that that’ll continue happening with my career for a long time. I’m not about to hold my breath and wait for that to stop so that I can marry someone. Life’s more fun when it’s unpredictable anyway.

Marriage is so overrated nowadays.” 

OK, first of all, thanks for putting down something I value so much. Secondly, I disagree completely. Marriage is the thing that so much love stems from. I envy that so much, and can’t wait until the day when it can be me in that position. It might seem overrated today (and to some that may be true), but I really don’t think marriage is ever going out of style.

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