When you first meet someone you really like, it can be tempting to overlook any red flags they might be displaying for the sake of pursuing things with a potentially toxic person. However, once you get further into the relationship, ignoring bad behavior becomes more and more impossible. Here are some signs you’re dating a narcissist and how to get away from them as soon as possible.
- They were incredibly charming… at first. When you first met, they turned on the charm to an extreme degree. They said all the right things, acted like your dream partner, and won you over with the sheer amount of charisma they had. Then, when you cemented things into a proper relationship, all of that sort of just… disappeared and you feel like you were duped. Sorry, but you’re probably dating a narcissist. They knew exactly what they were doing and how to reel you in, only to then unleash their real personality. It seriously sucks.
- Every conversation is all about them. You want to talk about your promotion at work but they talk over you and start bragging about how their boss 10 years ago told them they would one way run the company because they’re just that impressive. You’re grieving because your grandmother just passed away but all they can talk about is how much worse it was when their great-great-aunt that they never met passed away at 100. When you’re dating a narcissist, the story is never about you (and when it is, it leads back to them).
- They’re obsessed with their appearance and reputation. They take longer to get ready to go out than you do. They’re constantly preening, grooming, checking themself out in every mirror they pass. They ask you constantly what such-and-such person said about them/thinks about them. It’s constant and unrelenting and a major pain in the butt.
- They think they’re right ALL the time. When you’re dating a narcissist, you will never win any argument. That’s because they’re right all the time and you’re clearly wrong. They’ll never apologize for anything because that’s your job. They are perfect and never make mistakes and they expect you to believe that BS too. It’s infuriating and unfair.
- They don’t seem to have a lot of friends. A narcissist struggles to make friends because not many people will put up with their antics. Who wants to be friends with someone who doesn’t care about anyone but themself, who talks about themself constantly, who always thinks they’re right, etc? No one.
- They lack empathy. This is one of the hardest parts of dating a narcissist: they really don’t care about anyone or anything other than themself. This means that they find it hard to relate to other people’s feelings and struggles and they certainly don’t feel sympathetic towards them. They find it impossible to put themself in someone else’s shoes and remain conveniently detached from pretty much everything.
- They’re desperate for attention and compliments. A narcissist lives for praise and compliments. They think they’re great and they expect you to feel the same way. When you don’t, they pout or get hostile. It’s downright infuriating and it’s important that you don’t put up with it.
If you discover that you’re dating a narcissist, you need to get out as soon as you can. Someone like this will never change, no matter how much you beg and plead and no matter how many times they promise they will (which likely won’t happen, but hey, you never know). Move on to someone who’s ready and willing to be an equal partner and who gives you the love and care you deserve.