Are You Wasting Your Best Years On The Wrong Guy? Here’s How You Know He’s Not Right For You

Time waits for no one, and the last thing you want is to realize years down the line that you wasted your prettiest and most youthful years on the wrong guy. Here’s how to tell that you need to GTFO of your relationship:

  1. He’s not tuned in. You listen to him all the time, but when you’ve got news or want to discuss something, he starts going on about his own things all over again. It’s not worth feeling like you’re invisible in your relationship or that you’re a movie he’s watching with the sound off.
  2. Your real self has gone into hiding. You’re constantly debating whether or not to show your boyfriend your real, authentic self. Perhaps you’re afraid of rejection or what will happen if your flaws come out to play, but that sucks. Your relationship shouldn’t leave you feeling like you have to censor yourself.
  3. He’s not your best friendAlthough you don’t have to date your BFF, the man you’re with should definitely become your best friend. That means that you can laugh together, be silly sometimes, share secrets and feel closeness that doesn’t depend on great sex. If you don’t have that connection, then you’re missing out on the chance to have it with someone else.
  4. You never have an orgasm with him. No matter what you both get up to in the sack, he never brings you to orgasm. This sucks, especially if you know you have a high sex drive. You’re denying yourself great sex in your hottest years. It’s not necessarily that either of you is bad in bed; it could simply be a sign that you’re just not physically right for each other.
  5. Your dreams have been paused. You want to visit Thailand, take up dance class, and maybe start your own coffee shop. Why have they moved so far down on your to-do list? Because they clash with your partner’s dreams. Hold up. You need to focus on getting what you need and want out of life if you’re going to be happy with anyone.
  6. You envy your single friends. A lot. It might be normal to miss single life when you’re taken once in a while, but if you’re always thinking how great it would be to be your BFF who gets to cruise the single scene on Friday nights, you have to wonder if maybe you’d rather be by her side instead of sleeping next to your partner. Maybe you feel that your single time is not done yet, and that’s okay.
  7. He ages you. He might not be stealing your anti-aging products from the bathroom cabinet, but maybe it’s his general behavior that’s making you older. He might be physically older than you to the point where the age gap is impossible to ignore, or maybe he’s just settled down while you still have fire in you to get out there and do things.
  8. He doesn’t make you laugh. If there’s no laughter in your relationship, that’s messed up. Although you can’t expect laughter and rainbows all the time, your relationship should generally be filled with happiness. Otherwise, wtf is the point of being with this guy? There are enough people out there who will suck the joy from you; your partner shouldn’t be one of them.
  9. You’ve compromised on commitment. He doesn’t want commitment, so you’ve agreed to scale down your relationship so that you don’t have to lose him. WTF? This is like eating your favorite foods even though they’ve had most of their taste removed. Why would you stay with a guy who can’t commit? It’s convenient for him, but for you, it’s screwed up and a total waste of your time.
  10. You’re dating him for the wrong reasons. You’re with him because he’s hot AF or has a really cool attitude about life that you admire. Those might be nice qualities to look for in a partner, but come on: You need someone with much more if you want to be happy and fulfilled with the right guy.
  11. Your biggest worry is being aloneIf you’re unhappy sometimes but tell yourself that being with him is better than being alone, then you’re probably more depressed than you realize. You’re settling for someone who isn’t making your life better than it could be, which is screwed up. Once you end things with him, you’ll realize that you’ll be so much happier focusing on your own happiness regardless of whether or not he’s in the picture.
  12. You spend a lot of time stressed about your relationship. Much of your time goes towards worrying about where he is, what he meant when he said something, or if he really likes you. Isn’t that exhausting? It’s normal to doubt your BF occasionally or worry that things are changing, but if your default emotion is stress, then you’re giving yourself premature wrinkles and wasting days that could actually be carefree and happy.
Giulia Simolo is a writer from Johannesburg, South Africa with a degree in English Language and Literature. She has been working as a journalist for more than a decade, writing for sites including AskMen, Native Interiors, and Live Eco. You can find out more about her on Facebook and LinkedIn, or follow her on Twitter @GiuliaSimolo.